leaving blogspot

3
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

okay
this is it..
i ve just about had enough with the blogspot ban
henceforth, i shall be available at http://shahzad.vox.com/

thanks

Good God. Thank you for this small bottle of nestle and the chocolates.. \m/ \m/

only one person apart from me would know what hti is about
hahahahaha

(8) let it roll, baby roll.. let it roll (8)

knfkdsjnfgsd
jfsdnkjfdns
jfskjfks
bhaaa waaaa!! :D:D:D

we sailll through endless skiesss..
stars
shine like eyes
the black night sighs
the moon
in silver trees
falls down in tears
light of the night
the earth,a purple blaze
of sappphire haze
in orbit always

while down
below the streets
bathed in cool breeze
silver starlight
breaks down the night
and so we pass on by
the crimson eye
of great god mars


as we travel.. the universe..


*sigh*
:i so wish i was fucking high right now!

oh,and i m also sick of pkblogs..
i d rather shift to wordpress or vox real soon..
ah,decisions decisions.. petty ones at that,but decisions nonetheless..

oh man
crazy crazy world

the tv in my room will drain away the bit of sanity i believe was left in me..

had my final exams..
the microeconomics final was the best paper and i somehow got below the mean in that.. the rest of the quarter,the mids and quizzes were right on track but this unexpected turn of events resulted in me getting a B+.. i mean come on.. bleh.. khair..
the rest of the results arent in yet..

but coming back to the point..
i m just going to go mad some day.. real soon..
people drive me crazyyy..
i ve got to get the roads to freedom trilogy..
i ve got to rejoin the gym.. god,the third week i ve skipped it..
and people.. people people..
there are people like joey who just a few weeks ago had the nick "gO pOrtUgaL".. i mean come on,for fucks sake,the world cup is over.. its been ages since we had the world cup..
and then.. oh,i dunno.. crazy fucks all around.. totally crazy..
i need a break.. a fucking break from everything..

yeah..
so like..
the final exam week is upon us.. *horror*

the course registration registered me up for pak studies,calculus,intro to philosophy and intro to sociology but then i thought intro to sociology would be gay and easy scoring so i dropped it and wanted to take intro to political philosophy which is thought to be tough but sounds interesting anyways.. and now i m stuck on no. 4 on the waiting list and only have 10 units.. the minimum units required for a quarter are 12 so please mommy helpy me :(

tomorrow is the micro ka final and i havent studied shit uptil now.. blah..
its going to be gay mcqs :
bleh.. may gaud hailp mie!

okiee
so i m done with my micro. quiz and today i submitted my final research paper (as you might know,it was on aborigines)
the hardest part was the bibliography and the in text citation :S lol
anyways..
when i submitted it to the TA, she looked at the title and chuckled loudly and put her hand on her forehead.. i was like what?is there something wrong with the title?i can change it abhi you know..
and she was like no no,its really wonderful..
:D :D :D

you guys can download the research paper here:
http://www.filecrunch.com/file/49v

toodles

yes
been some time since i updated this shit in real time.. as in posted something proper here

i m bored with the outlook of this blog now.. its a bit too regular blogger-ish

lifes getting boring again.. same old stuff.. well, not exactly.. i m learning alot of new stuff, but i have no clue why i m learning it at the first place?why learn?why strive for self-improvement?.. it really doesnt count for much at the end of the day.. it really doesnt..

anyways.. had the final presentation thing.. after alot of procrastination,me and my group finally worked last night.. we were 3 in total
and by god,i would never have fucking chosen such a group if it was ever up to me.. the least god can do is give me veto rights over stuff in my life.. but no!..
anyways.. my group consisted of umer, a guy i know from the garden town days and hes like any typical guy.. accepting his mediocrity and having a self-esteem low enough to laugh about it all the time.. not doing anything to improve his life when he has every opportunity too.. forgets work and all other demons when he sees his friends who always tell him things along the lines of 'oh yaar kya chootia ban rahay ho?.. o abhi na parho.. pagal ho kya'..
the other group member was aimen.. a girl in a hijab and a huge shawl wrapped around her at all times.. says inshaallah after every sentence and sms.. i asked her something like do you know how to co ordinate the slide change with the music and she was like yeah i ll figure out inshallah.. i blinked my eyes.. man.. you wont get any divine intervention during the goddamned presentation..
anyways, all 3 of us, guilty of procrastination got down to work.. worked out the layout and the creative ideas and shit.. our presentation was to be the last of 13 groups so all through these weeks i saw groups executing many of the wonderful potential ideas i had in mind and practically ruining them too.. even then,i was still quite sure of our creative spark.. afterall, its us! heh!
anyways, this is what the presentation was like..
i had my ipod connected to the speaker system.. the slideshow started with contrasting pictures of aboriginal plight.. the first 4-5 slides were of happy aboriginal people and their culture and the other 4-5 slides were of hunger poverty homelessness etc.
i m sure almost all of my blog readers would love this:
in the background,i was playing "the black hawk war,..." by sufjan stevens off his unbelievable album illinois.. over it i was giving captions for the pictures..
i have no clue how it went.. i ll always regret the fact that i m never able to see myself from a 3rd persons perspective whenever i m on stage or having a presentation or anything..
the crowd seemed pretty interested.. after the first minute of the slides,i had my improvised introductory one minute speech about the plight of the aborigines..
then aimen came and did her part regarding the fact that aboriginal culture is being slowly wiped away because of the aussie govt. policies and stuff like that..
she was pretty good, but she really should ve moved around.. even i confess yawning for a moment during her speech,and i was her group member and the next speaker again,i should ve had my balls dried cold out of fear.. and she should ve memorised her shit.. she did a bit of paper reading but it wasnt too bad..
after her stuff,i came on again and explained how poverty of indigenous communities is deeply linked to land which is of utmost importance to them.. then with a tinge of irony, i remarked how wonderful the land rights laws were,they were a victory for the aboriginal movement blah blah..
i then told the people that i ll conduct an interview with a friend of mine, mr.aborigine..
mr. aborigine is a smallish wooden statue depicting an african man or an aborigine,to be honest,i dont have alot of ideas, i had in my hand..
i kept asking him how wonderful the land rights were but he kept saying that they werent.. through an argument between me and mr.aborigine, i was able to highlight the basic idea behind land titling for the poor around the world and also put in a rhetoric of how legal documents dont fill up a poor aborigines stomach etc. etc.
after that argument, i was able to conclude that land titling in isolation cant do much to improve the plight of the aborigines.. and proposed supply side measures for it..
this involved alot of irony since i myself was the one who was praising the land rights at the start and was telling mr. aborigine how he should stop blaming his problems on others and how he cannot be spoonfed everythingand that his community has to make the effort (which is the general accusation made towards these indigenous people) and by the end of it i had stated the factors why land titling alone cant do anything.. so my part went pretty damn good..
after that, i ended my part by saying that the aborigines faced other prblems too.. and since we dont have a 3rd group member (since i had hid umer outside the class and everyone thought he was absent) i asked mr. aborigine to turn into a human and tell the people about it themselves.. i told the class that since he was shy,everyone would have to close their eyes.. they closed their eyes.. and i played 'concerning the UFO sighting near Highland, Illinois' again by sufjan stevens.. i told umer to come inside the class jaldi se bahir jaa ke.. i had made umer dress up nearly like a poor aboriginal man.. his costume made of sacks.. weird beads around his neck.. white paint on his face and arms.. i lowered the volume of the song and everyone was really amused at this little act of ours.. umer then went on with his speech in first person constantly referring back to 'my community' and stuff like that.. i could see by the look on his face that he was shitting in his fuckin pants :D :D.. he had tried to memorise his stuff but he couldnt so he had real long pauses in the middle and he kept looking back on his paper while pretending to cry.. the lights were dimmed.. people had the wonderful music still in their head.. so hopefully,they didnt mind too much.. while he was doing his thing,i moved to the back of the auditorium..
this gave me 3 advantages.. firstly i was able to direct umer from behind when to wrap up if i thought he was going over the time limit.. secondly,i could look at the TAs stopwatch and had a clearer idea of the time left.. and lastly, when i wanted him to stop,when he finished i sentence, i just interrupted him loudly (as if it was how we had prepared it) and said stuff like yes the dangers are real and blah blah.. aborigines humans like us.. we part of human community..sympathisng with aborigines good,apathy bad and other stuff based purely on pathos.. when i interrupted him loudly,everyone just shifted their attention all of a sudden to the back of the auditorium (since that was where i was).. that got their attention,and while talking,i moved down the aisle to the centre... movement and being loud are always good tools to keep the viewer interested.. i ended with a minute and a half long relatively emotional speech and then the credits said: Aimen, Shahzad, Umer and Mr. Aborigine :)
20 minutes of total presentation time.. aimen took 5 minutes,umer took roughly 5 minutes.. the intro. slides were roughly of 1 minute.. so i had ample speaking time.. perhaps we ll get docked for not equitably distributing the workload,but fuck that shite mate.. seriously,it was a catch 22.. i had two options, one was to do it equitably and leave the presentation impact-less and the other was to take it on myself and risk getting docked points for being unequitable..
since i was always the person who asked the most questions during the question answer sessions (each day,8 different people individually talked to me and told me to please not ask any questions from them.. i was even blackmailed into not asking any questions today since i was using their laptop lol) i was expecting a baptism of fire.. i knew people would be plotting revenge.. but i always try and not be unreasonable in class and i was really humbled by the fact that the people who asked the questions accepted the answers and were satisfied instead of being banal about it and starting an argument (like it happened on so many other q/a sessions of other groups).. the session though was unbelievably long and people had loads of questions.. one person nearly got us when he said why dont the aborigines make an effort and move down to the cities and stay in their isolated areas.. they should work a bit for their prosperity too.. but all through our speeches,me and umer stressed on the importance of land.. so i gave him an analogy of a christian person telling a muslim to stop praying (namaz).. he would not know the importance of it for a muslims life.. similarly,we have no idea what their land means to them.. they prefer to die than leave their land,its part of their heritage.. quoting my silly words 'if you take namaz away from a persons life,his muslimness would never be complete.. in the same way,putting an aborigine away from his land will affect his traditions and mindset too'.. the people seemed to sneer at the sheer de-facto truism (of sorts) of the analogy.. the people couldnt deny the importance of namaz being the 'honest righteous muslims' they were and the people realised that too.. and the combined sneer of the class was a sign of the appreciation.. i really liked that.. hahaha
the instructor,teacher,miss,whatever always asks questions from all other groups but she didnt ask any questions whatsoever from us and had a smile at the end of it.. all good signals..
a few days ago when umer went to her to talk to her about his essay, she asked which group he was in.. he said 'shahzad wala group'.. she said 'heh,then, you re really lucky'..
yes people, i m sad,really very sad, but really,its stuff like this that makes me happy.. these are the small things that make me happy at the end of a day and not any big achievement thing or whatever..
so after our presentation,in her conclusion thing (this was our last ever lecture of ss1210) she was like so finally we re all done with the groups and we had something a bit special at the end of this..
man, makes me proud
makes.. me.. proud..

all throughout the day i met alot of people who were like kickass presentation and stuff like that.. even people of other sections were like i heard you guys kicked ass..
:D :D

anyways,now i have to work on my essay and have a micro ka quiz tomorrow.. damn..

"Places like this are the soul of English football. The crowd is magnificent, singing 'F**k off Mourinho' and so on" - Jose Mourinho on the crowd at Bramall Lane

hahaha :D

ookay,so finally the presentations that had been going on for ages now finally ended for me..
this had been the 4th time i went to college all dressed up semi-formally for the presentation which was around 5% of our total grade
to be honest,i wasnt really prepared at all because i had no clues as to what i was going to write about.. still.. it went pretty okay
i had no intentions to voluntarily go and give the presentation.. everyone was quite surprised because usually i always have my hand up before anyone when it comes to everyone else..
i could look at the amazement in the teachers eyes each time the class ended and my turn passed to another date.. khair..
like i said,i didnt plan on giving the presentation iss time because i didnt think i was prepared..
but then.. ahem
asim had been basically given the theme of venezuela and predictably (and unfortunately enough,since he couldve talked about the various ms. venezulas) talked about hugo chavez.. before he started,he did this shashka of cool-ly going up to the board and writing "HUGO CHAVEZ" in capital letters to gain the audiences attention..
there and then,the bulb in my head went *bling* and i smirked
i analysed the idea i had for a while and that took up another speaker.. by the time,the next speaker was done,i had made my mind up.. i raised my hand and with a sigh of relief (i hope.. and not of disgust heheh) the teacher said "sure,you go"..
everybody was expecting something because they really do think i m some weirdo (which i am) cum nerd genius..
so i coolly walked up to the board,took a chalk,thought for a while,did a hmmm.. the expectations were building up and they were thinking what i could possibly do with it considering my topic was that of aborigines.. i could hear a few whispers like 'hmm,yeh kya karnay laga hai ab' 'hmm,yeh kya hai hmm'.. i congratulated myself; i had gotten the audiences attention.. heh.. i then cancelled out the word "CHAVEZ" with casually drawn lines which surprised everyone even further.. people were like 'hainn,yeh kya,hugoo' 'hain?'.. i realised that my ploy was working so i made an arrow infront of "HUGO" and wrote "BOSS :D"
the whole class laughed.. i turned around with a huge smile and then started my presentation..
even my introduction involved calling my classmates 'lovely',the TA 'wonderful' and the instructor 'charming' which appeased everyone even further.. i could see the look in the instructors eyes.. the look which if she had studied in lahore and not arizona would ve translated into something like 'yeh bohat harami hai hahaha'..
khair.. whoring myself basically saved my ass and these parts were remembered by all of the people.. there werent too many presentations that got praise but she was all smiles and said i was really entertaining..

haha..

anyways,the rest of the midterm marks sucked.. i m really sucking bad at the courses other than compo.. and the lame progress of my research paper and final presentation means that even this course is in danger.. :( sob sob
khair.. i m off to have a shower now.. i m really stinking after gym! :S

if west indians are black,then does it mean that the red indians would be south?


anyways,i hope everyone has a happy eid.. and more importantly,enjoys and makes full use of the eid break..

footie+reunion tomorrow \m/

and oh man,i got an alan shearer shirt.. even more metal ness \m/ \m/ \m/
and it fits perfectly :D

lol.. another week
and another gay lab assignment
this time they asked us to make a webpage with our interests and shit in it
so i made the following webpage:
http://203.128.0.70/2010020125

please do check it out.. LOL.. it sucks..

anyways..
EL DERBY in 5 minutes.. *prays*

hmm.. shreddywueddy posted some lyrics on his blog.. so i thought i could do the same..

this is 'turn loose the swans' by my dying bridge

So little of what we observe, is the girl herself.
Elaborate, scented coiffers.
Adieu d'amour.
Vast is the heirs ballroom.
Let the rich give you presents.
Heaven pours from her throat, as she sings and as she dances.
The fumes of rich swine, honeyglazed and dripping, playing in the air.
My mouth eager and wishing.
But I return to this nightingale.
Her hair all fiery red.
Deep it is and wild.
my weakness will be fed.
Boys whipped on the alter of diana, sometimes until they died.
The cunning wily merchant, and his four crippled horses.
Tales told in warlike manner.
The storyteller by the fire .
While musing deeply on this sight, the songster stirred my desire.
You are sweet and fine to listen to.
Long tresses about her neck.
Yet much is false.
This mighty evening, I've seen no face.
This is crushing me.
My quill it aches.
Turn loose the swans that drew my poets craft.
I'll dwell in desolate cities.
You burned my wings.
I leave this ode, splendid victorious through the carnage.
I wanted to touch them all.
I wanted to touch them all.



"turn loose the swans" is just an unbelievable album my MDB.. some of the best lyrics i ve ever read/heard.. the songwriting on the whole album just represents the darkness in thoughts of the people.. just fucking amazing
mourning beloveth are another band whose lyrics i love
*sigh*

woah
i m currently going through a 12 day week
but hopefully by the end of it,i ll get 10 days off (thank you God for the festivities that you ve made us call EID! not because of the festivities but because of the break. er yeah, i thought i should get this clarified God. hmpff)
had my midterms over the weekend :i mean okay,2 things
MID TERMS?? its hardly been a fucking month and they tell us,go on son,give your mid terms.. weird
and yes,secondly,on a weekend! :
woah

needless to say the (mental) gash incurred due to the fact that my weekend was lost because of the futile excercise that we call midterm exams, resulted in the mid terms being completely abysmal for me
and the whole of the computer science department is full of paranoid geeks and the 1337 brigade :almost all of the teachers come to class wearing a bagpack..they love playing doom and talking about games all the time.. and the oldest one has even been heard saying stuff like "thingy-majig" in class
LOL
they were roaming around everywhere,somehow getting to the top of the sports complex (where the exam was held) and constantly hiding and taking pictures from the top..
i dont think anyone noticed it, but since i didnt really have alot of clues about the paper,i was moving my head up and down to flex my brain,and caught em ha!

and the precalculus paper was crazy too..
LOL

andd the micro paper.. hahaa
32 mcqs and 2 short questions
and nearly every mcq choice being as long as 3 lines.. i ve never been so tortured for 1 mark questions in my whole life
and it d probably turn out to be shit anyways

blahh

anyways,oh,did i tell you?
there was just a single fucking A in the essay thing which counted for 20% of our grade.. i mean can you imagine,a SINGLE FUCKING A?
some of the peeps got A minus and all (around 2) and all the rest of us got B's and C's
and it ll get funnier when you get to know WHO the instructor gave the A to!
it was that lame geek..
what was his name again?



oh yeah
Shahzad..
Shahzad Nousherwani or something like that


*waits*

*thinks*

oh wait,thats me.. HAA!

LOL

anyways,the CS course though is really gay
the other day,they made us write a program for a gay game in which if you click start game,a web is drawn and a bee moves a 100 times left and right randomly
if it ends up inside the web,the status says "bee trapped",and if its outside the web,it says "bee released"
now if anyone had been telling me that we d be doing SUCH stuff in the course,i would ve been like uh huh? really?cool? umm?
but this just is prettyyyyy simple
but in any case,the code looks neat and geeky
so i ll just post the code to impress people with my geekiness (which in reality doesnt exist.. anyone with even an ounce of computer knowledge would laugh at it lol even fuckers like abdul.. yes,abdul,that attention seeking fag.. oh wait,abdul reads this blog.. *waves* hey hello abdul!! (a) )

Private Sub delay()
For k = 1 To 1000000
b = Sin(9.11110111)
Next k



End Sub

Private Sub Command1_Click()
Randomize

For z = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (z, 2000)-(z, 6000)
Next z

For y = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (2000, y)-(6000, y)
Next y



For p = 1 To 100 Step 1
n = Rnd * 1
If n < left =" Command2.Left"> 0.5 Then
Command2.Left = Command2.Left - 100
End If
delay
Form1.Cls
For z = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (z, 2000)-(z, 6000)
Next z

For y = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (2000, y)-(6000, y)
Next y
Next p



If Command2.Left > 6500 Then
Text1.Text = "game over: bee released"
End If
If Command2.Left < text = "game over: bee trapped" left =" 5500" text = "No Move"> Command2.Left > 1000 Then
Text1.Text = "game over: bee trapped"
End If
If Command2.Left < 1000 Then
Text1.Text = "game over: bee released"
End If



End Sub


on second thoughts.. it doesnt look geeky.. it just looks plain ol' gay!

"chal yaar uth.. gujranwala agaya hai"

HJAHAHAHHAAAHHAHAH

"chelo.. charles garbage"


i cant believe most people think i m a geek/nerd :i mean, i would never have complained if i was among the people who get 24.5's in their quizzes, but the thing is,i dont.. lol
so i get to be a geek without getting to enjoy the benefits :|

woaah!