Climbing the ladder of platonic love upside-down

leaving blogspot

2007-01-02T15:41:00.001+05:00

3
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

okay
this is it..
i ve just about had enough with the blogspot ban
henceforth, i shall be available at http://shahzad.vox.com/

thanks

2006-12-03T00:21:00.000+05:00

Good God. Thank you for this small bottle of nestle and the chocolates.. \m/ \m/

only one person apart from me would know what hti is about
hahahahaha

(8) let it roll, baby roll.. let it roll (8)

knfkdsjnfgsd
jfsdnkjfdns
jfskjfks
bhaaa waaaa!! :D:D:D

2006-12-01T02:30:00.000+05:00

we sailll through endless skiesss..
stars
shine like eyes
the black night sighs
the moon
in silver trees
falls down in tears
light of the night
the earth,a purple blaze
of sappphire haze
in orbit always

while down
below the streets
bathed in cool breeze
silver starlight
breaks down the night
and so we pass on by
the crimson eye
of great god mars

as we travel.. the universe..

*sigh*
:i so wish i was fucking high right now!

2006-11-30T23:44:00.000+05:00

oh,and i m also sick of pkblogs..
i d rather shift to wordpress or vox real soon..
ah,decisions decisions.. petty ones at that,but decisions nonetheless..

2006-11-30T23:33:00.000+05:00

oh man
crazy crazy world

the tv in my room will drain away the bit of sanity i believe was left in me..

had my final exams..
the microeconomics final was the best paper and i somehow got below the mean in that.. the rest of the quarter,the mids and quizzes were right on track but this unexpected turn of events resulted in me getting a B+.. i mean come on.. bleh.. khair..
the rest of the results arent in yet..

but coming back to the point..
i m just going to go mad some day.. real soon..
people drive me crazyyy..
i ve got to get the roads to freedom trilogy..
i ve got to rejoin the gym.. god,the third week i ve skipped it..
and people.. people people..
there are people like joey who just a few weeks ago had the nick "gO pOrtUgaL".. i mean come on,for fucks sake,the world cup is over.. its been ages since we had the world cup..
and then.. oh,i dunno.. crazy fucks all around.. totally crazy..
i need a break.. a fucking break from everything..

2006-11-24T16:19:00.000+05:00

yeah..
so like..
the final exam week is upon us.. *horror*

the course registration registered me up for pak studies,calculus,intro to philosophy and intro to sociology but then i thought intro to sociology would be gay and easy scoring so i dropped it and wanted to take intro to political philosophy which is thought to be tough but sounds interesting anyways.. and now i m stuck on no. 4 on the waiting list and only have 10 units.. the minimum units required for a quarter are 12 so please mommy helpy me :(

tomorrow is the micro ka final and i havent studied shit uptil now.. blah..
its going to be gay mcqs :
bleh.. may gaud hailp mie!

2006-11-17T19:47:00.000+05:00

okiee
so i m done with my micro. quiz and today i submitted my final research paper (as you might know,it was on aborigines)
the hardest part was the bibliography and the in text citation :S lol
anyways..
when i submitted it to the TA, she looked at the title and chuckled loudly and put her hand on her forehead.. i was like what?is there something wrong with the title?i can change it abhi you know..
and she was like no no,its really wonderful..
:D :D :D

you guys can download the research paper here:
http://www.filecrunch.com/file/49v

toodles

2006-11-15T20:30:00.000+05:00

yes
been some time since i updated this shit in real time.. as in posted something proper here

i m bored with the outlook of this blog now.. its a bit too regular blogger-ish

lifes getting boring again.. same old stuff.. well, not exactly.. i m learning alot of new stuff, but i have no clue why i m learning it at the first place?why learn?why strive for self-improvement?.. it really doesnt count for much at the end of the day.. it really doesnt..

anyways.. had the final presentation thing.. after alot of procrastination,me and my group finally worked last night.. we were 3 in total
and by god,i would never have fucking chosen such a group if it was ever up to me.. the least god can do is give me veto rights over stuff in my life.. but no!..
anyways.. my group consisted of umer, a guy i know from the garden town days and hes like any typical guy.. accepting his mediocrity and having a self-esteem low enough to laugh about it all the time.. not doing anything to improve his life when he has every opportunity too.. forgets work and all other demons when he sees his friends who always tell him things along the lines of 'oh yaar kya chootia ban rahay ho?.. o abhi na parho.. pagal ho kya'..
the other group member was aimen.. a girl in a hijab and a huge shawl wrapped around her at all times.. says inshaallah after every sentence and sms.. i asked her something like do you know how to co ordinate the slide change with the music and she was like yeah i ll figure out inshallah.. i blinked my eyes.. man.. you wont get any divine intervention during the goddamned presentation..
anyways, all 3 of us, guilty of procrastination got down to work.. worked out the layout and the creative ideas and shit.. our presentation was to be the last of 13 groups so all through these weeks i saw groups executing many of the wonderful potential ideas i had in mind and practically ruining them too.. even then,i was still quite sure of our creative spark.. afterall, its us! heh!
anyways, this is what the presentation was like..
i had my ipod connected to the speaker system.. the slideshow started with contrasting pictures of aboriginal plight.. the first 4-5 slides were of happy aboriginal people and their culture and the other 4-5 slides were of hunger poverty homelessness etc.
i m sure almost all of my blog readers would love this:
in the background,i was playing "the black hawk war,..." by sufjan stevens off his unbelievable album illinois.. over it i was giving captions for the pictures..
i have no clue how it went.. i ll always regret the fact that i m never able to see myself from a 3rd persons perspective whenever i m on stage or having a presentation or anything..
the crowd seemed pretty interested.. after the first minute of the slides,i had my improvised introductory one minute speech about the plight of the aborigines..
then aimen came and did her part regarding the fact that aboriginal culture is being slowly wiped away because of the aussie govt. policies and stuff like that..
she was pretty good, but she really should ve moved around.. even i confess yawning for a moment during her speech,and i was her group member and the next speaker again,i should ve had my balls dried cold out of fear.. and she should ve memorised her shit.. she did a bit of paper reading but it wasnt too bad..
after her stuff,i came on again and explained how poverty of indigenous communities is deeply linked to land which is of utmost importance to them.. then with a tinge of irony, i remarked how wonderful the land rights laws were,they were a victory for the aboriginal movement blah blah..
i then told the people that i ll conduct an interview with a friend of mine, mr.aborigine..
mr. aborigine is a smallish wooden statue depicting an african man or an aborigine,to be honest,i dont have alot of ideas, i had in my hand..
i kept asking him how wonderful the land rights were but he kept saying that they werent.. through an argument between me and mr.aborigine, i was able to highlight the basic idea behind land titling for the poor around the world and also put in a rhetoric of how legal documents dont fill up a poor aborigines stomach etc. etc.
after that argument, i was able to conclude that land titling in isolation cant do much to improve the plight of the aborigines.. and proposed supply side measures for it..
this involved alot of irony since i myself was the one who was praising the land rights at the start and was telling mr. aborigine how he should stop blaming his problems on others and how he cannot be spoonfed everythingand that his community has to make the effort (which is the general accusation made towards these indigenous people) and by the end of it i had stated the factors why land titling alone cant do anything.. so my part went pretty damn good..
after that, i ended my part by saying that the aborigines faced other prblems too.. and since we dont have a 3rd group member (since i had hid umer outside the class and everyone thought he was absent) i asked mr. aborigine to turn into a human and tell the people about it themselves.. i told the class that since he was shy,everyone would have to close their eyes.. they closed their eyes.. and i played 'concerning the UFO sighting near Highland, Illinois' again by sufjan stevens.. i told umer to come inside the class jaldi se bahir jaa ke.. i had made umer dress up nearly like a poor aboriginal man.. his costume made of sacks.. weird beads around his neck.. white paint on his face and arms.. i lowered the volume of the song and everyone was really amused at this little act of ours.. umer then went on with his speech in first person constantly referring back to 'my community' and stuff like that.. i could see by the look on his face that he was shitting in his fuckin pants :D :D.. he had tried to memorise his stuff but he couldnt so he had real long pauses in the middle and he kept looking back on his paper while pretending to cry.. the lights were dimmed.. people had the wonderful music still in their head.. so hopefully,they didnt mind too much.. while he was doing his thing,i moved to the back of the auditorium..
this gave me 3 advantages.. firstly i was able to direct umer from behind when to wrap up if i thought he was going over the time limit.. secondly,i could look at the TAs stopwatch and had a clearer idea of the time left.. and lastly, when i wanted him to stop,when he finished i sentence, i just interrupted him loudly (as if it was how we had prepared it) and said stuff like yes the dangers are real and blah blah.. aborigines humans like us.. we part of human community..sympathisng with aborigines good,apathy bad and other stuff based purely on pathos.. when i interrupted him loudly,everyone just shifted their attention all of a sudden to the back of the auditorium (since that was where i was).. that got their attention,and while talking,i moved down the aisle to the centre... movement and being loud are always good tools to keep the viewer interested.. i ended with a minute and a half long relatively emotional speech and then the credits said: Aimen, Shahzad, Umer and Mr. Aborigine :)
20 minutes of total presentation time.. aimen took 5 minutes,umer took roughly 5 minutes.. the intro. slides were roughly of 1 minute.. so i had ample speaking time.. perhaps we ll get docked for not equitably distributing the workload,but fuck that shite mate.. seriously,it was a catch 22.. i had two options, one was to do it equitably and leave the presentation impact-less and the other was to take it on myself and risk getting docked points for being unequitable..
since i was always the person who asked the most questions during the question answer sessions (each day,8 different people individually talked to me and told me to please not ask any questions from them.. i was even blackmailed into not asking any questions today since i was using their laptop lol) i was expecting a baptism of fire.. i knew people would be plotting revenge.. but i always try and not be unreasonable in class and i was really humbled by the fact that the people who asked the questions accepted the answers and were satisfied instead of being banal about it and starting an argument (like it happened on so many other q/a sessions of other groups).. the session though was unbelievably long and people had loads of questions.. one person nearly got us when he said why dont the aborigines make an effort and move down to the cities and stay in their isolated areas.. they should work a bit for their prosperity too.. but all through our speeches,me and umer stressed on the importance of land.. so i gave him an analogy of a christian person telling a muslim to stop praying (namaz).. he would not know the importance of it for a muslims life.. similarly,we have no idea what their land means to them.. they prefer to die than leave their land,its part of their heritage.. quoting my silly words 'if you take namaz away from a persons life,his muslimness would never be complete.. in the same way,putting an aborigine away from his land will affect his traditions and mindset too'.. the people seemed to sneer at the sheer de-facto truism (of sorts) of the analogy.. the people couldnt deny the importance of namaz being the 'honest righteous muslims' they were and the people realised that too.. and the combined sneer of the class was a sign of the appreciation.. i really liked that.. hahaha
the instructor,teacher,miss,whatever always asks questions from all other groups but she didnt ask any questions whatsoever from us and had a smile at the end of it.. all good signals..
a few days ago when umer went to her to talk to her about his essay, she asked which group he was in.. he said 'shahzad wala group'.. she said 'heh,then, you re really lucky'..
yes people, i m sad,really very sad, but really,its stuff like this that makes me happy.. these are the small things that make me happy at the end of a day and not any big achievement thing or whatever..
so after our presentation,in her conclusion thing (this was our last ever lecture of ss1210) she was like so finally we re all done with the groups and we had something a bit special at the end of this..
man, makes me proud
makes.. me.. proud..

all throughout the day i met alot of people who were like kickass presentation and stuff like that.. even people of other sections were like i heard you guys kicked ass..
:D :D

anyways,now i have to work on my essay and have a micro ka quiz tomorrow.. damn..

2006-11-04T13:23:00.000+05:00

"Places like this are the soul of English football. The crowd is magnificent, singing 'F**k off Mourinho' and so on" - Jose Mourinho on the crowd at Bramall Lane

hahaha :D

2006-10-30T21:16:00.000+05:00

ookay,so finally the presentations that had been going on for ages now finally ended for me..
this had been the 4th time i went to college all dressed up semi-formally for the presentation which was around 5% of our total grade
to be honest,i wasnt really prepared at all because i had no clues as to what i was going to write about.. still.. it went pretty okay
i had no intentions to voluntarily go and give the presentation.. everyone was quite surprised because usually i always have my hand up before anyone when it comes to everyone else..
i could look at the amazement in the teachers eyes each time the class ended and my turn passed to another date.. khair..
like i said,i didnt plan on giving the presentation iss time because i didnt think i was prepared..
but then.. ahem
asim had been basically given the theme of venezuela and predictably (and unfortunately enough,since he couldve talked about the various ms. venezulas) talked about hugo chavez.. before he started,he did this shashka of cool-ly going up to the board and writing "HUGO CHAVEZ" in capital letters to gain the audiences attention..
there and then,the bulb in my head went *bling* and i smirked
i analysed the idea i had for a while and that took up another speaker.. by the time,the next speaker was done,i had made my mind up.. i raised my hand and with a sigh of relief (i hope.. and not of disgust heheh) the teacher said "sure,you go"..
everybody was expecting something because they really do think i m some weirdo (which i am) cum nerd genius..
so i coolly walked up to the board,took a chalk,thought for a while,did a hmmm.. the expectations were building up and they were thinking what i could possibly do with it considering my topic was that of aborigines.. i could hear a few whispers like 'hmm,yeh kya karnay laga hai ab' 'hmm,yeh kya hai hmm'.. i congratulated myself; i had gotten the audiences attention.. heh.. i then cancelled out the word "CHAVEZ" with casually drawn lines which surprised everyone even further.. people were like 'hainn,yeh kya,hugoo' 'hain?'.. i realised that my ploy was working so i made an arrow infront of "HUGO" and wrote "BOSS :D"
the whole class laughed.. i turned around with a huge smile and then started my presentation..
even my introduction involved calling my classmates 'lovely',the TA 'wonderful' and the instructor 'charming' which appeased everyone even further.. i could see the look in the instructors eyes.. the look which if she had studied in lahore and not arizona would ve translated into something like 'yeh bohat harami hai hahaha'..
khair.. whoring myself basically saved my ass and these parts were remembered by all of the people.. there werent too many presentations that got praise but she was all smiles and said i was really entertaining..

haha..

anyways,the rest of the midterm marks sucked.. i m really sucking bad at the courses other than compo.. and the lame progress of my research paper and final presentation means that even this course is in danger.. :( sob sob
khair.. i m off to have a shower now.. i m really stinking after gym! :S

2006-10-26T21:09:00.000+05:00

if west indians are black,then does it mean that the red indians would be south?

anyways,i hope everyone has a happy eid.. and more importantly,enjoys and makes full use of the eid break..

footie+reunion tomorrow \m/

and oh man,i got an alan shearer shirt.. even more metal ness \m/ \m/ \m/
and it fits perfectly :D

2006-10-22T23:56:00.000+05:00

lol.. another week
and another gay lab assignment
this time they asked us to make a webpage with our interests and shit in it
so i made the following webpage:
http://203.128.0.70/2010020125

please do check it out.. LOL.. it sucks..

anyways..
EL DERBY in 5 minutes.. *prays*

2006-10-22T19:35:00.000+05:00

hmm.. shreddywueddy posted some lyrics on his blog.. so i thought i could do the same..

this is 'turn loose the swans' by my dying bridge

So little of what we observe, is the girl herself.
Elaborate, scented coiffers.
Adieu d'amour.
Vast is the heirs ballroom.
Let the rich give you presents.
Heaven pours from her throat, as she sings and as she dances.
The fumes of rich swine, honeyglazed and dripping, playing in the air.
My mouth eager and wishing.
But I return to this nightingale.
Her hair all fiery red.
Deep it is and wild.
my weakness will be fed.
Boys whipped on the alter of diana, sometimes until they died.
The cunning wily merchant, and his four crippled horses.
Tales told in warlike manner.
The storyteller by the fire .
While musing deeply on this sight, the songster stirred my desire.
You are sweet and fine to listen to.
Long tresses about her neck.
Yet much is false.
This mighty evening, I've seen no face.
This is crushing me.
My quill it aches.
Turn loose the swans that drew my poets craft.
I'll dwell in desolate cities.
You burned my wings.
I leave this ode, splendid victorious through the carnage.
I wanted to touch them all.
I wanted to touch them all.

"turn loose the swans" is just an unbelievable album my MDB.. some of the best lyrics i ve ever read/heard.. the songwriting on the whole album just represents the darkness in thoughts of the people.. just fucking amazing
mourning beloveth are another band whose lyrics i love
*sigh*

2006-10-16T15:08:00.000+05:00

woah
i m currently going through a 12 day week
but hopefully by the end of it,i ll get 10 days off (thank you God for the festivities that you ve made us call EID! not because of the festivities but because of the break. er yeah, i thought i should get this clarified God. hmpff)
had my midterms over the weekend :i mean okay,2 things
MID TERMS?? its hardly been a fucking month and they tell us,go on son,give your mid terms.. weird
and yes,secondly,on a weekend! :
woah

needless to say the (mental) gash incurred due to the fact that my weekend was lost because of the futile excercise that we call midterm exams, resulted in the mid terms being completely abysmal for me
and the whole of the computer science department is full of paranoid geeks and the 1337 brigade :almost all of the teachers come to class wearing a bagpack..they love playing doom and talking about games all the time.. and the oldest one has even been heard saying stuff like "thingy-majig" in class
LOL
they were roaming around everywhere,somehow getting to the top of the sports complex (where the exam was held) and constantly hiding and taking pictures from the top..
i dont think anyone noticed it, but since i didnt really have alot of clues about the paper,i was moving my head up and down to flex my brain,and caught em ha!

and the precalculus paper was crazy too..
LOL

andd the micro paper.. hahaa
32 mcqs and 2 short questions
and nearly every mcq choice being as long as 3 lines.. i ve never been so tortured for 1 mark questions in my whole life
and it d probably turn out to be shit anyways

blahh

anyways,oh,did i tell you?
there was just a single fucking A in the essay thing which counted for 20% of our grade.. i mean can you imagine,a SINGLE FUCKING A?
some of the peeps got A minus and all (around 2) and all the rest of us got B's and C's
and it ll get funnier when you get to know WHO the instructor gave the A to!
it was that lame geek..
what was his name again?

oh yeah
Shahzad..
Shahzad Nousherwani or something like that

*waits*

*thinks*

oh wait,thats me.. HAA!

LOL

anyways,the CS course though is really gay
the other day,they made us write a program for a gay game in which if you click start game,a web is drawn and a bee moves a 100 times left and right randomly
if it ends up inside the web,the status says "bee trapped",and if its outside the web,it says "bee released"
now if anyone had been telling me that we d be doing SUCH stuff in the course,i would ve been like uh huh? really?cool? umm?
but this just is prettyyyyy simple
but in any case,the code looks neat and geeky
so i ll just post the code to impress people with my geekiness (which in reality doesnt exist.. anyone with even an ounce of computer knowledge would laugh at it lol even fuckers like abdul.. yes,abdul,that attention seeking fag.. oh wait,abdul reads this blog.. *waves* hey hello abdul!! (a) )

Private Sub delay()
For k = 1 To 1000000
b = Sin(9.11110111)
Next k

End Sub

Private Sub Command1_Click()
Randomize

For z = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (z, 2000)-(z, 6000)
Next z

For y = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (2000, y)-(6000, y)
Next y

For p = 1 To 100 Step 1
n = Rnd * 1
If n < left =" Command2.Left"> 0.5 Then
Command2.Left = Command2.Left - 100
End If
delay
Form1.Cls
For z = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (z, 2000)-(z, 6000)
Next z

For y = 2000 To 6000 Step 200
Form1.Line (2000, y)-(6000, y)
Next y
Next p

If Command2.Left > 6500 Then
Text1.Text = "game over: bee released"
End If
If Command2.Left < text = "game over: bee trapped" left =" 5500" text = "No Move"> Command2.Left > 1000 Then
Text1.Text = "game over: bee trapped"
End If
If Command2.Left < 1000 Then
Text1.Text = "game over: bee released"
End If

End Sub

on second thoughts.. it doesnt look geeky.. it just looks plain ol' gay!

2006-10-12T21:03:00.000+05:00

"chal yaar uth.. gujranwala agaya hai"

HJAHAHAHHAAAHHAHAH

"chelo.. charles garbage"

i cant believe most people think i m a geek/nerd :i mean, i would never have complained if i was among the people who get 24.5's in their quizzes, but the thing is,i dont.. lol
so i get to be a geek without getting to enjoy the benefits :|

woaah!

2006-10-05T13:14:00.000+05:00

gulraiz 'ma'am but we havent exactly isolated the two effects'

*pause*

mughees 'ma'am i think this person should be isolated from mankind'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA BONGIIII!

2006-10-05T13:13:00.000+05:00

:hmm
i never thought THIS would happen

anyways

'chelo..iss ko dekho..apne aap ko charles babbage samajhta hai'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

2006-09-20T17:29:00.000+05:00

taken from an interview by allan holdsworth:

interviewer: Would you ever consider playing an 8-string guitar?

AH: No. I have enough problems with six!

:D

2006-09-20T16:46:00.000+05:00

been quite some time since i blogged
this time,it has been due to a lack of time
:
hmm...so what have i been thinking about of late?
hmm...jaco pastorius,alan holdsworth,linkin park,paatos,double locking trem and a fusion guitar (something like a prs which according to omer has no cutting edge..i call that 'warmth' and 'depth') and a bit of king crimson
i need an ipod and i think i ll get one soon
the temptation to get a video ipod is high but to prove the point that i m not getting it as a fashion statement or anything, i ll get the nearly outdated audio one with the max. available space
its been ages since i heard any new music properly and gone are the days of long college drives..i used to listen to around about 10 songs from my home to ucl and back...now its only 2 songs and i get to the destination :gym has been going great and the supplement makes me shit 12 times a day..

met omer,farrukh and darkyy at the concert the other day..mhb was great as usual but they seemed to be in a hurry,which is not good...

hee haa haa,omer thinks i m happy and settled,but its really completely the opposite
its just that the little time i spend with friends,i try and make the most out of it and dont whine much (or try to)
i m slowly getting the hang of college though and i cant say that i hate it..its interesting and theres alot to learn in every sphere..

baaki the rest is finee..

today we were given a really gay computer assignment again...after completing it before time,i accidently bumped into a system of a down video on the network and played it..and half the computer lab could listen to chop suey :lol..i wonder why they told me to get out of the computer lab...i guess they didnt take that too kindly..lauls!

i ve never felt as dumb in my life before as i did this morning..it is completely unbelievable that a normal human being, let alone me, could commit such an act of dumbness..
i had been reading a few essays late into the night and checked my mails where i saw a mail from the microeconomics TA that there was supposed to be a tutorial at 7.30-8.30
i then hurried back to sleep because that meant that i would have to wake up at 6 and get to college before 7.30
khair,i got up,was surprisingly fresh and was preparing myself mentally for a long day ahead...when i got to the college and stepped inside the academic block,only then did i realise that i missed a really small detail :the economics tutorial was to be held at 7.30 PM and not AM :i ve never seen such self-pwntism in my life..

i m glad the day ahead was good enough to lift my spirits up and i m able to laugh about it in hindsight..but i really felt miserable at that time...i mean i had been down for a whole two weeks nearly and this was just like some negative nadir that i had reached perhaps.."where is my mind" by pixies was playing in my head the whole half hour till khizar didnt come..
i guess it really does take something out of the ordinary to turn the tide and hopefully the graph would go up from now...lets HOPE that thats the case because me being down is bad for the readers because i really dont have any stupid stories or ideas to share then..

the other day,i was just thinking
i was watching these people quarrel over things...and the problem seemed to be a lack of communication/understanding between the two genders..i mean it was really hard for the females to understand what was common sense for the males and it was really hard for the males to understand what was common sense for the females...the natural result was that the two arguments were tangentional and everybody disagreed with everyone else..
i ve seen this quite alot..we take alot of stuff for granted as males...and similarly,the females take alot of assumptions for granted as well..and alot of the times,they re not the same...the result is them not being able to understand each other,or worse,misunderstand each other,or worse still,misunderstand each other and not know about it at all and think that thats the way it is..
perhaps someone who would understand both sides properly would be gay..a gay who openly professes that he is gay...
bleh..is this evolution??adapting to changing lifestyles??

2006-09-11T01:00:00.000+05:00

FINALLY a night out with the boys
the world seems like a much better place now and i m injected with just a bit of hope
like darky says on his blog, 'the world may be evil,but thats all we have right now'

=)!

2006-09-10T03:38:00.000+05:00

wow

there are so many people on bloggerland who write consciously,yet sound totally original and fresh
i mean i just get lost in the thoughts so much that i completely lose track of what i m writing about
the result is a sentence starting in one form and ending in another,starting a paragraph about one thing and by the end of it talking about something completely different
how can they be so lucid and original??
how can they fucking write consciously??

:(
i hate myself
no,wait,thats too strong
i just wish i had so much more to give than what i currently have

2006-09-10T02:15:00.000+05:00

hmm
i have passed by a week
nothing much to write home about

i havent been listening to any new music..my hard disk is stretched to the limit,argh

went to see 'there goes the bride' today
loads of familiar faces (or faeces? hah,no,just a bad play on words) around there but just didnt feel like going out of the way and saying hi and all so all of us just saw each other,pretended that we didnt see each other and went our own ways..and thats pretty good actually,because one should respect the circumstances

i was just walking past the ladies toilet at lums and into the male one when it came accross my mind that if feminists achieve what they want,we d end up having common toilets
thats a thought most guys would relish
but the very fact that that the guys relish such ideas is the very reason why feminists may never achieve what they aim to achieve
so its kind of a modern urban paradoxical philosophy question..the mere existence of the idea of something,in this case,is the very reason why 'that' something would never be achieved
so i dont know..it may not seem to be the most important find of all times,but it reminds me of something that has been at the back of my head for a long long time..
its that people always talk about how we lack traditions,and how we re abandoning cultures (the elder lot mostly saying that) and how the 'pop culture' is affecting us and implying that for some secret reason that is damaging or not desirable (mostly the younger 'apparently' *hand gesture* enlightened lot saying that)..but we never really admit and accept that this really is a culture in itself..a culture that is now followed and is not really geography based..
its as man-made as each and every other culture that has graced this earth since the dawn of time (or looking at it from an opposite perspective,as 'natural' as them too as this has stemmed organically and naturally and there havent really been major conscious efforts by anyone..i dont really buy into the '0mg corporate media CONTROLLING our minds' since i dont really believe that humans are THAT inferior yet..yes it definitely affects us but it has been blown way out of proportion and it makes it all feel like its some underground parallel world where some evil people plot all this and we all oblige in this world like drones..cultures from the start were always promoted for some motive or the other,so why not this too)
and yeah,i m definitely not saying that we should really embrace it with open arms or i m not being a champion of capitalism..and i m not condemning it either
praise or condemnation are besides the point
we need to identify the changes that have occurred all around us and should keep that in perspective..
what i want to say is hard to explain in words for me..
its like i m pretty sick of people condemning the pop culture or everything modern or whatever,people condemning nu-metal or electronica or synthesisers,you know,people saying that oh the 80s (or the 70s or the 60s or the 1200s whatever) was the time to be in and that that was the time when everything was pure and shit (because corruption has been everywhere since time immemorial)
i need to cut out the 'we need to ...' type stuff because that really goes against what i want to preach (yet sometimes i fall prey to it..indeed,such habits have been wih me since i was a child till my late teens..you know,the habits of believing that you re right and if anyone else disagrees,theyre wrong..or just plainly telling other people to follow a particular way,showing other people the path)
i was just originally saying,that the new age problems that we have are the ones which we can aim to answer which could help us in understanding ourselves and the status of thigns around us so that we can consciously attempt to shape up things for what we think is better
if we philosophise (or whatever the verb for that is) and contemplate on new age problems,like 'why do fixies end up getting what they want?' for one..it could get quite interesting
in ancient times,ancient philosophy was based on the problems that were relevant to their time.perhaps thats why it was so successful..
but if we try and contemplate on SOME of the questions asked by them,it wouldnt really matter much..i mean,take for example god..god has lost quite alot of his relevance in modern times..perhaps its because of taking everything literally,we have somehow lost alot of the element of spirituality that was there in every religion at the start..true,some people do bump into the spiritual world (or the truly great ones find the spiritual world) but i think the majority take religion and its teachings at face value..live a simple life and be modest and dont watch porn and masturbate because god will punish you or because its strictly prohibited in islam or whatever religion..
i used that example because the adverse affects of all that are pretty evident to everyone..
if we could somehow use the same way of thinking to other teachings,it d be much easier to follow them,and slowly you would be able to get in touch with your spiritual side,which is quite important if you want to live a satisfied life
i mean,the point for me is,that somehow (and i dont know,this could be quite twisted),but religious scriptures,i think,are there so that you should follow them,but you dont HAVE to follow them
ofcourse,without buying into the poo that if you dont follow them there d be some sort of damnation awaiting your arrival
do whats right because its right,not because someone would judge you on it,even if it disagrees with religious scriptures
if you want to drink alcohol and believe that you can do so without causing anyone any harm,then sure do..the only reason religions have prohibited it strictly is because people fail to tread on that fine line..
if they had allowed drinking for example,people would just say that oh its pretty darn much allowed in my religion,and use that as an excuse to get as drunk as fuck
so you know,if you could apply it to everything else,it d be great

but anyways,i have no idea just where i ended up..i was talking about modern culture
theres a certain amount of beauty in this apparent impurity (of sorts),in this uselessness,in this incompetence,in this sleaziness..
we can brag all about how 80s heavy metal is totally untouched and listen to nothing else apart from that,but atleast i cannot do that..i mean only listen specifically to those bands..yes,they re unbelievable but sometimes i just am not able to relate to some of the music
i find this hybrid of jazz,electronica,rock,doom,funk etc. pretty darn interesting
i believe that is one of the reasons why post-rock and indie in general is on the rise these days..more and more people are now able to understand all that and relate to it once they have accepted what the modern world is
ofcourse,you cannot hide all your incompetence behind all this though
i mean i just somehow love linkin parks music (yes,guilty pleasure) but their lyrics are totally unforgiveable
i mean take for example nirvana (a bit old but chelo,koi nai)
the fact of the matter is,that in an ideal world,that guy should ve been kept away from the music industry with a 100 foot pole,that kurt cobain dude
but,his vocals and his unbelievably funny (if you look at it from a technical point of view) solos,you can actually relate to it somehow
you can relate to the dissonance and the confusion,though its created through accident
so i mean,i dont know,i used to really treat that band as shit and all but of late i ve come to appreciate what they did..i mean,mind you,they still suck in most senses,but i pretty much dig them
everything just comes together in a really sarcastic context
thats one of the reasons i love u2 as well..
its hard to explain,but once you open yourself to this new phase of development,you tend to understand it all

i dont know..i may have touched on a whole range of different issues,but the fact of the matter is,i just pasted out all the shit on the blackboard with a ruler,whatever there was in my brain somehow..
all of this came to my mind when i kept thinking about how the people who are total assholes,who act bitchy all the time,jo fix huay phirtay hain,how the fuck do they end up being so happy and satisfied with their lives??
all of this was a response by my brain,to,well,my brain itself
now,its time for the hard part..trying and actually believing in what i said and following it practically
i try and do so so much,to do whats right because its right,but my god,the evils of this world are too tempting and the pressures of coping up with all of whats thrown at you with whatever you have got and being on your toes 24/7,all of it really does take its toll on you
yes,prozac is now officially a temptation but i ll try and avoid it because i dont want to depend on something external to control myself because that doesnt feel right..lets see how i hold up

:)
shiny happy people!
stay happy!it really does make me happy!
its infectious!

2006-09-06T18:37:00.000+05:00

it seems like ages ago since i last blogged
and no its got nothing to do with the college starting or me being busy or anything..i mean,i still think i do have quite a bit of free time even now
but its been weird..
my internet has not been working for quite some time now

i havent been to the gym for a week and a half,which is not good to say the least

lums has started and in many regards,its whatever i expected it to be..in some other regards,it has totally transcended all the expectations i held..
most people dont realise it,but what i love about it is the compulsion to do a minimum units of social sciences (math too,but that doesnt excite me as much)
i dont know of any other university around that essentially does that so no matter what you do,acf,economics or maths,you d always have a background in liberal arts which kind of gives you an edge of sorts
likewise,the social science course that i was assigned is already quite alot of fun..i m not sure if i can say that for all of my other classmates,but i cant remember a time when reading the textbook was this much fun and informative as well
the very first reading assignment included orwells 'politics and the english language' and i was quite awe-struck because it really was something out of the box..its hard to find such ideas that are pretty much out-of-the so called box,and its in the curriculum,so what more does one need??

but time and time again all of us have been reminded both in lectures and through our experiences that throughout our lives,we have literally glided past every other classmate getting the best grades easily..but now we re at a place where everyone else has been doing the same in the 18-19 years of their existence,so its all going to be something interesting because hopefully everything wouldnt be as standardised as the o and a levels where there is an easy formula for success
evolution is the key i think

anyways,the real challenge is to survive this phase where all the other 1000 people are strangers right now..none of my 'friends' came to lums..there are endless groups of acquaintances but they do nothing apart from making your life much more difficult since you kind of try to avoid them since you know you dont click with them,yet you have to somehow oblige when they stick with you..lets hope for the best
until i make some good friends,things are going to be really really miserable

2006-09-03T23:13:00.000+05:00

hmm
so the summer vacations are finally over
didnt see it coming

i am completely aware of the fact that i ll make new friends but till the time i dont,some part of me would still keep telling me that it wont be the same,which kind of makes me sad
was the same when i left gt after my o levels..chelo,lets see
time is the best healer

have my first class at 8.30 tomorrow
now lums really has this weird way of assigning sections and courses
all of their orientation sessions were mindboggling to say the least (not in an awe-inspiring sense mostly but in the perplexing sense)
they had disabled the 'view current status' (enrollment status) uptil today and now that i have seen them,i ve found out that theres a clash between one social science course and one computer studies course :now theres no way i can drop either one since they have disabled the course dropping facility and apparently their policy for missed quizes and shit is that it goes down as an F even if it is due to clashes
i checked the rest of the situation and there was some space in another section of the computer studies course but theres no possible way of swapping now..will have to consult them tomorrow when i go there
really weird..they could ve just kept it simple..but no!
chelo,khair,lets see

2006-09-02T00:27:00.000+05:00

first day as a 'freshie' like they call it
not too bad
some of it was funny..the rest was a drag
blaah

anxiety anxiety

2006-08-30T23:17:00.000+05:00

theres a certain fear that drives up into my thoughts whenever i open the blogger page..
its always seems as if i wont be able to do justice to the feelings..chelo khair

saw another one of those talk shows..this time talat hussain was taking it with the govt. stooge,imran khan and hafiz hussain ahmed
and as usual,the opposition kicked some serious butt

i really do like hafiz hussain ahmed..he gets elected from the quetta/chaghi seat so if i get my vote registration done from there, perhaps he d be my choice
forget the fact that hes a mullah and us educated 'progressive' lot dont like them mullahs and feel threatened..forget the possibility that he may not deliver up to any promises..
what i like about him is that firstly,he really is a learned man..you d stop confusing him with your average joe maulvi sahab the moment you listen to what he says...his spontaneous statements are often in prose-like form and he knows how to weigh his words..immaculate sentence construction and choice of words,hes really shrewd and till now,i havent heard anything from him which i could disagree with ideologically..

hmm..

there are some certain sounds that just mean so much somehow..which can affect you,move you,motivate you like no other..
the prime contender ofcourse has to be the laughter of a child...if only i could,i would ve paid whatever it would cost me to be able to see myself when playing with a child..the smile,the laughter,is contagious..its abstract,the senseless acts which can make a child laugh..there are no strings attached...its the pursuit of happiness in its purest form...where 'happiness' - the emotion,is isolated and not intertwined with any other feeling..
but thats a pretty general one..i m sure everyone would be able to relate to that so i shouldnt really waste more words in trying (and naturally failing,since words are no substitute for the emotions experienced firsthand) to describe it

another one of the sounds just HAS to be the one where a batsman is bowled clean!
oh the sound of the grunt of the bowler, the sound when it hits the wood..bang! the bails fly,sometimes,the wickets take a tumble (the farther the better)..the scenes of jubilation...the scenes of a victor celebrating and the defeated still contempating upon what hit him..
i may not be a big patriot,but somehow i just cannot abandon my love for watching cricket when pakistan plays..no matter how hard i try to not be affected by the performance of the players,i just end up feeling something or the other..its really weird,i cannot explain it...

there isnt a football related sound as such that one can include,sadly enough..

oh,yes..the sound of the smith machine...oh you just look at it and you know its built with precision and sent straight from heaven (italy actually!) for you to test yourself..the grunt of you applying your full force,the subtle prolonged shuffling sound of the friction of the steel,a rep,another one,3,4,5...and its finally done..
each time you listen to that sound of steel,you get motivated enough to muster up enough strength to put it back up..each time you bring it down,it looks like a guillotine and you just know that you wont be able to lift it at all,each time!ah,but it just happens that you gather up the last bit of energy in you and put it back up and that sound just satisfies you to the core,and with a slight turn of the wrist,you complete your set..how wonderful...one just cannot realise how beautiful that is unless one experiences it himself..

theres just so much in this world to think about,to look forward to,to dive into..its hard to commit...you look at people who single-mindedly devote their life to something and stay put with it..i dont know how they do it...you look at people who medidate for years and find their god, who read philosophy for years and have their own ideology on life, who read poetry and literature and by the end of it have enough in them to churn out and throw their own poetic phrases marinated in metaphors at people like ninjas throwing their knives...people who play blues their whole life and end up having their own signature phrases...people who play jazz and leave their own legacy...people who want revolution and die for it...people who spend their whole lives in politics...people who practice their kick-ups all their lives to perfect the art of the dribble...
metaphysics,politics,philosophy,religion,music,sport...how can one marry when so many other temptresses are out there to seduce you?or are available for seduction?
haha..we ll never know the answer!

2006-08-30T02:53:00.000+05:00

Nawab Akbar Khan Bugti
was 80+
former governer and chief minister of balochistan
studied from aitchison and then oxford
fan of nietchze and ghenghis khan
what can i say about him?

the purity and richness of the emotions at his death have evoprated,of sorts...so i dont even know if i would be able to do justice to,both,my feelings and the man

i m not even sure how to approach this subject
there are so many different options that juggling with them would exhaust me rather than me exhausting all my options

its quite hard to comprehend,the state of things,if you consider his education and interest in modern philosophy and sophistication and yet going back to his own district and settling the disputes in jirgahs,settling the tribal disputes..settling everything the tribal way..

while i m not justifying anything related to jirgahs and sardars (i dont need to actually),firstly i have to say that the accusations put forward on him stopping development in his areas are completely farcical to say the least...my dad himself oversaw 200 schools in 3 years there and the reports of all chief engineers and superintending engineers say that the roads in dera bugti are much better and much developed than anywhere else in the whole of balochistan

secondly,regarding him ordering killings and jail sentences in his personal jails etc.
its all about the context...if you have enough command of the situation,with just minor alterations,you can make anything look saintly and similarly,completely evil
those 'orders' were the faislahs of the jirgah firstly...in a country where a normal urban low income earner knows that he wont get justice in the court of law,where he,thence,doesnt even recognise and accept the authority of that court and of that law that is destined to let him down,where he does everything possible to avoid it and where eventually if and when the decision is handed out,its blatantly unfair,is nothing compared to,a traditional tribal jirgah where both parties accept the final authority of the jirgah with the utmost of respect..
which one is the better option may i ask??something which has the wholeheartedmandate of EVERYONE or something that is rammed down the throats of everyone and is yet unfair??
yes,for all the idealists,this IS a state within a state..but a benevolent and useful state within a state is much better than the authoratitive internal states of the army and the ISI inside of pakistan which the 'enlightened' of this generation wank off to only because they feel protected,that too,because they havent stepped into the practical life as yet

yes,tribal warfare is all too natural in the evolution process and it is something,the dangers of which are clearly obvious to those who are involved in it...they are always involved knowing the possible repercussions and only they and they alone are responsible for the losses,purely because only they alone would be the victors anyways...so theres no need for any outside influence or sympathy...
fuck enlightened moderation,fuck everything that sounds cool to the puny-minded fucktards who know its all a farce anyways but still support it..i dont want any enlightened moderation when my brothers in their native lands dont want it...i dont want english-speaking economists as prime ministers who are decent and apparently 'presentable' (as they say) if that means that my native people have to suffer..
fuck this farce,fuck this bullshit...fuck the idealists who talk about democracy and development in rural areas...fuck them three times for negating their own ideals when believing in the facade put up by musharraf and the GHQ..
democracy is an ideal,a beautiful one at that...the most beautiful one at that...its an ideal and not a 'system' which is clearly something that people fail to understand...if that ideal means that a single party keeps ruling,then so be it..if that means that the people want a highly revered sardar to decide on their behalf knowing that he d decide with no bias,then so be it...
fuck these human rights activists for making headlines and stories politicising single incidents...oh a single injustice to a single human is complete injustice to the entire humanity...fuck this paulo coelho inspired hippie bullshit...the biggest injustice to humanity is the fact that we are not allowed to be governed the way we want to be governed...fix that you bastard hippies and everything would be fixed...if thats a mullah government cutting peoples hands for being a thief,then so be it...if its a sardar ordering people to be thrown into dry wells,then so be it...fuck this facade,no we dont want someone else bursting in and telling us what HE thinks is right...no we dont want a fucking army dictator being benevolent...EVEN if this fascist bastard musharraf was benevolent (which he truly ISNT) even then it would ve been unacceptable...even the worst form of democracy is better than the best form of dictatorship..the state of affairs is clearly unacceptable
the irony is that we are allowing everyone else to dictate us...yes musharraf is okay because we dont have anyone else...dont you know you stupid fucktards what a precedent thats setting??dont you know you fools that you re locking your own backdoors to freedom??bhenchod dont you fucking know that its a fucking parliamentary democracy that we re supposed to be fucking running...where the prime minister is the chief fucking executive...where the federation isnt supposed to be fucking interfering apart from just minor strategic stuff like the defence?where there would OBVIOUSLY be no qualms in balochistan...the fucking prime minister or president doesnt have to "lead" the country...these fucking stupid kids think that running a country is a complete one man show...either its musharraf or its benazir or sharif running the country...bhenchod,its not that easy...its not like that at all...the only thing we re opening ourselves to is just future manipulation by the 'oh so great benevolent dictators'...let democracy mature...the irony is that the people who talk about the lack of an appropriate substitute 'leader' to 'lead the country' if its not musharraf dont even know how the bloody country is fucking run!
yes,thats the fucking irony..the biggest fucking irony...the saddest part isnt that we have a fucking military dictator ruling our asses the way he wants to...its that the educated fucktards actually believe that he d do something good :i blame it on everything,i blame it on the media,fuck,i blame it on musharraf himself...i cant blame these kids,they have grown up watching musharraf tingle in EVERYTHING that isnt supposed to be tinkered with federally,which are pure provincial subjects...perhaps they ve started believing that thats the actual 'role' of a president..
firstly,the president is just a fucking ceremonious leader in a parliamentary democracy which due to the similar benevolent dictators of pakistan have turned into a B-52 bomber (pun intended)
even if it is a pure parliamentary democracy,where the prime minister is the chief executive (in the proper sense ofcourse),the constitution of 1971 that we re supposed to be following still doesnt give the PM all the powers that this fucktard is excercising over everything..
isnt that abuse??
bhenchod baray chalay hain human rights ki baatein kernain...waddi enlightened moderation...waddi education...lun bhenchod!

the nations head is held down in shame,and rightly so...every politician is ashamed and has his head down for it,and here we have this crazy lunatic in an army uniform who says this is a great victory for pakistan...wait till i drill a hole each in your ass for every such 'victory' you ve provided pakistan with..

we have free media here..HA...a fucking joke...the apparent operation has been going on since the 23rd and everyone gets to know about it all a week later...where within a few hours,footage was coming in of completely remote areas after they were hit by the earthquakes,we dont have any such footage of any of the operation or of the supposed cave...a plethora of stances that the government has taken..no one apart from the army knows what really happened..
some say his body is in CMH quetta,some say hes alive and has talked to his grandsons...bhenchod...the army is controlling it all,and isnt giving any information,is that what you call free access to information??why wouldnt it have been free if it was something justifiable??the guilt is fucking clear for everyone to see
while the crazy bastard is partying in murree without a shalwar on drunk on black label,the sons of akbar bugti dont even know where their fathers dead body is..

we talk about rights..we talk about justice..we talk about virtue...but we back general musharraf,the enlightened educated youth of pakistan because he caters to our interests...because he sells this cheap brand of 'enlightened moderation' that we feel safe with...so much so,that we wish that the majority of the ruralites be dragged to our 'heightened' levels of awareness and knowledge and customs and ideals...after all,that is what we mean when we say that oh 'yeh country danday ke zor pe hi chal sakti hai'...chal sakti hai??
its all about interest groups,and we talk about honesty virtue...tsk..shame
it fucking disgusts me...fucking disgusts me to call myself a pakistani...fucking disgusts me to be part of this youth who thinks they know everything,who can debate from president bush to guantanamo bay,to humans rights abuses in saudi arabia and 'ethnic cleansing' in sudan,who can debate about northern african countries getting into EU knowing all the inside outs courtesy of the time magazines and the economists of this world YET like parvaiz musharraf just because he caters to our class??
a shame...stupid hypocrite wankers!!
BA HUKM-e-ALLAH,there will be justice...there will be honesty...time will tell...time will punish them all...time will make them learn and unlearn and then learn again!
by God,and if theres any God,i have lost all faith in you,and even if you were to descend upon me right now,i d still tell you that i dont believe in you and your justice...you ve kept rewarding the wrongdoers for way too long...you ve kept making the people with ill intentions successful for way too long...with injustice of this massive scale,even god will have to be forsaken!even god wont be able to redeem himself!
oh god,prove me wrong,oh god prove me wrong!

a great leader has died...a father figure for every baloch...he died,but never gave up his arms!he fought for what was right!he governed people the way they wanted to be governed and by god,what a great job he did!
i still remember my dad telling me about the last time my dad had dinner with him...he delayed his jirgah announcement for a long time because my dad couldnt get in time...there and then,infront of everyone,my dad included,he told everyone...all of his young loyal grandsons (bramdag and aalee) and all the people there,all the hindus,everyone,that they were free to leave him there and then..if they had ever thought that he had ever done them wrong or caused them harm,they could leave him there and then,and not a single person moved..
the same person who went against his own nationalistic ideals because he felt a greater duty when he was governer of balochistan in 81 towards the office he was holding,where he had to carry out the orders of the high court..where once he took the oath when taking office,he never defied it,even if it meant to evict one of the closest tribes,the murrees...8 years on and he realised the damage and raised his voice as chief minister when democracy was restored again...and eventually,he did mend the ties with the murrees..indeed,he was in the murree area himself when he died
such great people dont come often enough...people who are much greater than castes and creeds and religions and grudges,who hold their ideals higher than anything else...who fought off the army alone for a whole year and died but never gave in and never went against his ideals..a man of his words,didnt indulge in any insider trading or backtracking like this crony general musharraf (who is now having talks with the people in waziristan..if he had any moral grounds for killing bugti and being against him,then he never would ve talked with the people in waziristan)..
here we have this great leader,and after killing him and not giving out his body for a proper burial,the state is sponsoring bullshit on the bullshit facade that is PTV..
tribal warlord?extremist?terrorist?traitor?oppressor?
is that how you reward a person??
shame..shame..
just disgusts me..

and the puppet shaukat aziz...fuck your economics...if you had even a single percent of decency,you would ve resigned yourself by now...
itni begharti,ITNI BEGHARTI,ITNI BEGHAIRTI bharri hai iss government mein keh koi hudh nahi iss ki...iss kainaat ki saarein hadhein paar karr deen hain establishment ki beghairti nai!

its a shame...its a shame that we re born here...among fuckos who talk virtue and rights and still think musharraf is acceptable just because he caters to them...so this is what prosperity and an ideal state means??dragging everyone else to the levels that suit YOU,right??
fuck..fuck...i ve never been this disillusioned with this country that i dont want to call mine,EVER..
this irreconcilable loss is just too much to bear..
i just cannot write much longer,for i fear that i ll break down with the tears..

.the great man died,but never gave up his weapons,his words,his ideals...yes the crony general may have prevailed this time,but by god,even bugtis death hasnt gone without a purpose!the great man left us with a lesson even with his death!

i cant say this for anyone else i feel,i dont know,i dont even think i d be able to relate to anyone with whatever i ve written..but the legacy of Nawab Akbar Khan Bugti will live on and on in my heart,as long as i live!

after the struggle that was his life,he will definitey be resting in peace!
i wish he may get whatever he wished for himself after he was gone!Amen!
a great chapter in history has finally come to a close,but it has left me touched!

2006-08-27T00:38:00.000+05:00

R.i.p. Nawab akbar bugti.the warrior.the gentleman.the leader. 'mana mirag kabool ain,maga hathiar daur dae,ae kabool nay'  Proper obituary when my net starts working again

2006-08-23T17:11:00.000+05:00

my feet are perhaps getting better
there are no new spots
and the old ones are getting darker...chelo

met up with some of the old gt folks..usman (bonus) ellahi,usman (choosni) aftab and saavil
lol..all of us had funny stories to share
bonus with his same old rhetorics of clubbing in geneva and his mountain expeditions being his anti drug and us pointing out to him that he never took them anyways
usman aftab with his long career plans.."bus mere 2 modules bachay hain,then CA compete..the CFA...4 more years" lol
and saavil with his jokes and stories of the raves and the parties and poppin e's
we went to cafe aylanto..the food was pretty okay...i had the fettucini pasta with shrimps..were pretty cool
the sauted mushrooms at the start were just class though
saavils dads studio is nearly complete...so me and usman will probably jam with him some time..its been 2 years now since hes been taking classical vocal trainings,but he agreed with me when i was like that none of us should step in now because it d be doing injustice to ourselves and all
his comments on javed bashir ("yaar itna khaas nahi hai,gala baazi bohat kerta hai") and fareeda khanum ("bohat jagaon pe phass jati hai") were amusing..
overall,it was a pretty good outing

got late for the gym though,just a bit..
khair,ali aur haider ki larayi hui wi thi pehle se and i was the awkward man in the middle since both of them werent talking to each other and were basically ignoring each other and i was like wtf mein kya karun?khair,the last thing one needs to do in such situations is to take any sides so i told haider to patch it up and understand since alis the older one and everyone knows he doesnt take kindly when someone shouts at him...having fun with him is a completely different ball game..hes not the average joe...its all okay now i guess though

listening to donnie darkos soundtrack again...oh its just killer
saad explained it best when he said that you just cannot bear it if you think about watching the movie again while thinking about mad world..it just is too bizarre
its the same with vanilla sky..
great soundtracks can do wonders..

*sigh*

2006-08-21T23:40:00.000+05:00

hmm
for quite some days,i had been having this weird itchy feeling around my feet
and when i woke up yesterday,i realised there were about 10-15 red spots on my feet,looked like huge-ass mosquito bites and were pink but ofcourse i knew they werent mosquito bites...unless the mosquitos got mutated into something else due to radiation or something,but the chances of that happening were quite less
it itched like hell and by the end of the day i had around 20-22 of those spots..
ofcourse,they itched like hell
got em checked from the doctor tonight...apparently,some blood vessels have inflammed due to some allergic reaction,the cause of which is unknown
the doc has given me shitloads of pills and a few creams..
right now the feet are itching like anything,it seems like they re on a sauce-pan of sorts and theres this weird burning sensation on all the spots (probably due to the cream thing) and they have no turned maroon
weird..really weird!

among the pills he gave me,alot of them were prone to inducing sleep so i m feeling quite drowsy right now..i think i ll get some sleep after a couple of hours or so..

2006-08-19T02:29:00.000+05:00

listening to the live concert album of herbie hancock with jaco pastorius at the ivanhoe theatre
somehow,i just love this album
it brings me the same amount of joy everytime i listen to it
theres something about the dissonance and surprises of jazz that draws me towards it
herbie is just sounding so at ease,so calm,so content..a bit lost in his thoughts,trying to fish out the perfect words,the sentence construction abstract..especially when he introduces jaco
'of late..*a catchy synth loop playing in the background at an off timing continuously at a low volume* *pause*..we ve borrowed a young bass player from a band *a longer pause*..that band is weather report *and with a slight increase in tempo* that bass player is jaco pastorius' and in comes jaco *muted slap* *pop* *slap* *muted slap* *pop* *slap*..builds the groove..herbie introduces the drummer,who is another kickass guy..and they kick in with 'hang up your hangups'
lovely stuff

went to xaviers place last night,was his birthday...he had wanted me to ge to his place a wee bit late because he was out with some of the friends off his *makes hand gesture* social circle
apparently, social circle apart from ones proper friends for most guys these days means the girl(s) who they want to date+the girls who can be easily interchanged with the original dating target+some good friends looking to score+some other guys who know other girls who are bound to invite you to their small gettogethers at their *makes hand gesture* social circle
if you know what i mean
anyways
that was something he didnt tell me but i knew nonetheless..i couldnt have given two hoots if he didnt invite me at all at his place as a consolation...khair anyways
i went to his place,mouse (see 'good friends looking to score' from the list above) was already here so i just spent the time lying around listening to music
mostly crazy by gnarls barkley..then ibrahim came after a while and we ordered pizza
ibby did download some pretty kickass tracks,the type of the new-age joy division inspired pop/post-punk i love these days which would ve elevated him much higher and into my good books but as usual he ruined it all by claiming to have heard all the bands i told him about (broken social scene,joy division,paatos and pink tears [a band which didnt exist and i made up the name myself just to see if he was bluffing or not,and he really was bluffing his ass off])
anyways,got home at around 11.30

these songs depress me,seriously
i get all the love in the world,yet i feel lonely!
i m just thankless
i need to listen to paatos and depress myself further before calling sarah

i love my blog
blog,music,football..first love??i cant decide!!

i think i ll go to sanwals play tomorrow..its in punjabi and i wont get a thing but its his first major thing and he is so excited about it and wants us all to be there..just the words 'yeap definitely i ll come' brought a huge smile to his face so i cant let him down
omer would probably be over most of the day so it ll be easier to pass the time..even if we do nothing and just lie about..companionship does great intangible wonders!

DSC01188

2006-08-19T02:20:00.000+05:00

DSC01188
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

i have never been the type of person who is fond of exhibiting his prized possessions.not generally, and not over the net
but blogging brings out the extrovert in me somehow

this is the first ever picture (and perhaps probably the last ever) i have of my guitar
now normally i completely abhorr the people who just cant stop taking the pictures of their guitars (no matter how shitty they are) and proclaiming their love for their guitars and for music
i never keep on bragging about my 'progress' or my 'practice' nor do i record every single thing i play and get people to praise it..i ve hardly ever recorded anything
khair,i dont even remember what i wanted to post about at the first place..
khair anyways,i ll just write whatever the image commands me to

i just love the harmony of the pic (yes,self-praise i know but when there arent many people who share the same viewpoint as yours,you get a bit frustrated and have to do it all yourself)
perhaps its got to do with both my shirt and it being red..but there is this feeling of 'wholeness' in the pic
i look content,the settings look immaculate,the flowery bed spread (no fault of mine,all that is under my moms control,but of late i ve kinda started fancying this)
good stuff..i like this pic

DSC01181

2006-08-17T04:02:00.000+05:00

DSC01181
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

coke,fresh warm pop corns,and england winning 4-0

life would ve been lovely if these were all the things that i wanted since they are aplenty
once the centre of my existence,stuff like this has turned into a distraction i crave to have..

apparently,even this single avenue of my sludge-venting is proving to be problematic
imagine if i started doing everything my own way

and thanks for the encouragement amnah.. great to see other weilay bloggers around too =) !

2006-08-16T04:22:00.000+05:00

a whole day passed and theres nothing to write home about
the books going on at a snails pace
nothing else
apparently they need a registration for this stupid park..i mean come on,red tape when it comes to jogging??COME ON!
but chelo,i ll have my way in a few days..

had silver spoon walay chicken rolls but they sucked like anything...they should stick to selling cheap chars! seriously!

finally won the season with newcastle..playing with maira as p2 is difficult
now i m playing at the hardest possible level with chelski so that it doesnt matter even if i lose a few games and get relegated

and man..im sure i m the only loner who posts on his blog at this time of the day..
or..i m sure i m the only loner who posts on his blog
or..i m sure i m the only loner

whats bad with blogging excessively??it just goes to show how sad ones life is,but not blogging is not the answer to such a life..not blogging for the fear of being judged is much worse..because people will judge you anyways!

2006-08-15T04:44:00.000+05:00

You Are 79% Indie

You're a very indie person, and admit it, you look down a little on people who strive to be normal.
You'll indulge in a little mainstream pop culture every now and then. But for you, anything not indie is a guilty pleasure!

How Indie Are You?

2006-08-15T04:39:00.000+05:00

You Are Chicken

Bah! You're hardly meat. But you are quite popular, and people aspire to taste like you.
You're probably quite skinny and free of vices. Except letting people eat your eggs.

What Kind of Meat Are You?

2006-08-15T04:35:00.000+05:00

You Are 72% Gentleman

You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners.
Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices!

Are You A Gentleman?

you can tell how bored i am..

2006-08-15T04:32:00.000+05:00

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

the only test (out of more than a dozen) that i have liked so far..

2006-08-15T03:07:00.000+05:00

i love you

the best

better than all the rest

that i meet,in the summer
innnnnndiannn summmer (8)

:(
i m not a bad guy..i swear

2006-08-14T19:48:00.000+05:00

ooh,i m tired
i m tayirr-redd!

saw pirates of the carribbean 2 at sozo
was pretty okay,albeit a bit too long
then ate quite alot...at pizza hut
it was raining and i had thought that the plans for football had gone down the drain
but ali got a call from a friend of his who needed a few players so we then went to the qaddafi stadium
it was a proper 11-a-side with 90 minutes,linesmen,a fifa trained referee and the best of all: THE OFFSIDE RULE!
the worst part was that all swearing and referee intimidation resulted in bookings lol
thankfully enough though,everyone coped well with it
since i didnt know the people at all,i settled for left back at the start
i really do think i can do a job at any position on the pitch to be honest,so left back was pretty okay too..
the fact that we kept a really solid high line and really did catch the other team offside loads of times made me proud..i had never experienced such a thing before,you know,you keep looking accross the line and move forward before a pass and all...pretty intriguing..
farrukh was playing at centre back right by my side and we had a really good co ordination going on..
i pressed forward too,so it was a good experience
i really didnt think that i could last for the whole 90 minutes,but i did
i played half the second half on the left wing with farrukh as my left back
that was pretty awesome too...i didnt know the guys but we had some really slick one-twos going on...fit passing and all
individual skill counts for almost nothing in these matches i ve learnt,and ones game has to be really cultured..so it was pretty neat
i loved our interplay

khair after some time i came back at defence with a short while at right back but then switched to left back again when haider came on the field..
my legs were giving in really at the end but i somehow stayed put and ended the match
we won 5-2
i had a chance to score when i was playing on the left wing..i played a one two with the guy in the centre and was nearly clear through from the left but i just took one extra touch and the next thing i know there were 4 defenders over me,but by then the angle had become too narrow
but chelo...it was a completely different ball-game to what we play usually..loved it

the ground is pretty okay,can be booked for 11-a-sides only for Rs.500 (atleast thats what i heard)..the floodlights can be turned on too in the evening but i think they charge more if you want to avail that facility
and yes,no game without your shin pads is what the referee told us,but since almost no one had any shin pads,he allowed us to play...my left legs pretty bruised as a result..must get shin-pads now!

2006-08-13T05:08:00.000+05:00

hahahahaha
i just cannot believe it

two dreamers can never be true lovers

i now realise the problems one faces when everything one touches,turns to gold
besides,familiarity always breeds contempt..how i wish this wasnt true

2006-08-11T03:08:00.000+05:00

wow..
either orkut is totally bullshit or lums has really gone berserk this term..
the people in the 'batch of 2010' community are total fucking retards..almost all of them
some of them do have 5-8 a level a's but NONE of them have even an ounce of decency or class..it beggars belief.totally
i for one am extremely disappointed
i mean atleast if there were posers like the ones who can edit their pictures in photoshop and look barely presentable and can type properly,it would ve been okay
but this is the hopeless breed
weird people with murghion walay haircuts claiming to write for "tHe ToP mAgAzInEsS iN tHE wORllDD" (which actually turn out to be "readers digest") and others writing in italics and using bazaari language all the time..god
every institution i go to is pretty good before i go there and by the time i come out of it,it totally sucks
heres to hoping that i run into the least number of these assholes..
Amen!

2006-08-11T02:38:00.000+05:00

:(
i feel low

2006-08-10T02:34:00.000+05:00

phew
the skin-change is finally done
doesnt look too bad if you look at it through my eyes
a simple blogger skin with a little twitch here and there

i think i might ve put too much pressure on my hamstring..its quite sore
chelo

got the percentages today
got 91% in urdu which is surprising as nearly everyone (barring a few unfortunate friends of mine) got an A in urdu...even people like shehryar bharwana who has E's in both his other subjects..which means that there may have been many people whose paper was much better than mine...i had thought that my urdu paper went much better than most of the other guys..chalo

got 95% in accounting..as i mentioned when i was reviewing my papers after i gave them, the few glaring errors i had made cost me these marks..and the rest would be mcqs i guess and i couldnt really do much more with the mcqs..after a certain level of effort, you just let it go..mcqs are really dodgy

96% in general paper..my first essay was spot on apart from just one mistake where i confused the use of biodiesels..i wrote it with reference to diesel-engines but in reality stuff like soy and an increase in ethanol concentration are mostly related to petrol engines...the marks i may have lost with the second essay for sure...the one where it said 'a day spent without reading is a day wasted.discuss'..admittedly, the essay i wrote was a really bland one but you cannot expect much else from a topic that deserves to be in the copy of a grade 6 student,not A levels exams..
so the topic trapped me in a way but i cannot complain..infact,i was expecting that the worse-than-average performance in the second essay would more than offset the good one in the first,but its more or less even stevens here

and finally,96% in economics
i wouldnt have settled for this percentage if asked before the exam was taken but given the high amount of students with B's and C's in economics this term, its not too bad..the marks i lost must be mostly due to the mcqs because on average when i practised mcqs,i got around 18-30 right..which was worrying at that time
other possible weak areas in my paper were the 2nd part of the 2nd essay in the extension essay writing where it was written 'is it better to conserve resources rather than exploit/use them?'..the first part was related to investment in rural areas so i should ve stressed upon it in that context which i did but couldnt really continue with..plus after the paper i had thought of many other perspectives from which i could ve argued on both sides, but admittedly, i was running out of time so they really couldnt have been incorporated anyways..the structure was a bit messy too
also the 2nd part of the essay in paper 2 wasnt too good..again,i missed out on some points which i later realised i should ve mentioned

hmmmm..
chelo..i shouldnt be ungrateful..
now, i m off to offer sacrifices to my gods..adiosu!

2006-08-08T02:57:00.000+05:00

yaaar
ajeeb shit hai kaafi

had to drive around with poonum api for most of the day
lekin chelo
everyones happy with the result so thats cool
my shoulders havent been this sore for as long as i can remember

after i got home and got a bit of rest and had a few eggs,i was off again to gunsmoke with omer and haider
had the thai oyster steak..yum yum..with texas fries and spinach
mmm mmm...the steaks there are just in a league of their own

got home,and have been fooling around since then...my net has suddenly come alive after so many days of no activity at all..

i got the result i wanted but somethings missing
kaafi shit horahi hai mere saath...which is bad
lets hope everything gets back to normal
plus i hope mera driver jaldi waapis aajaye,otherwise i m gonna have to start charging for my services.. :went to hameed latif today and was really tempted to have the challi,but i didnt have any loose change

sigh...i just want to talk talk talk..even if its just a blog...i just somehow dont find all avenues available to me suitable somehow,i dont exactly know how,but thats the way it is..
i guess its like the same problem...being unable to acknowledge and appreciate the things one has..
sigh,but why do we not get everything we want when we want it..
i think god really has some problems with his digital quartz watch or has the same problems which a player has with timing when he doesnt immerse himself in music before starting to play an instrument...god,dont do this man,come on!

2006-08-07T19:56:00.000+05:00

yeah,so i got 4 a's
thats not too bad

now i just want to go to the indoor beach in japan and learn japanese from berlitz

2006-08-05T03:04:00.000+05:00

haha
i find myself hilarious
i can nearly laugh out loud at myself

i m never happy with whatever i have...and i dont want to pursue what i want to pursue and want it to come to me itself so that no one can tell that i wanted it at the first place
tsk tsk
i hope this phase of self-pity ends soon
i get worse than pms-y girls when i m in this phase :|

2006-08-04T03:23:00.000+05:00

this is what i m craving for right now :i want the ones that are roasted in salt and sand..the last time out,i had half of it infront of hameed lateef..and the weather was amazing too

2006-08-04T02:40:00.000+05:00

hmm...ibrahim just called me
seemed pretty happy,perhaps even a bit high on his work
hes working from 6 pm to 2 am as a sub-editor for the nation...or is it the daily times..its one of those two i remember him telling me about
works hard for a meagre pay of 7000 but chelo,he enjoys the work so its all okay..plus,his boss is 'mighty' gc wala
he wanted to get me to come out of my house at this obscure time so i naturally had to remind him about the security alarm..
but hes a nice guy

i smsd him a few days back under the guise of reminding him that he owed me money and that i needed it badly...he seemed pissed but we kinda 'kissed and made up' (for the lack of a better proverb)...he has his problems with haider and his insecurities..
man,everyone has a problem with everyone these days..sometimes,all these good gestures seem like a complete illusion to me,perhaps i m a pain in the ass for real and its something they dont say to me?..but chelo,i know that thats not the case..just happens so when i contemplate on something a bit too much
chelo,hes a nice guy...a bit twisted,but a nice guy..
i may have badmouthed him out of necessity and not out of any proper ill-feelings for him and i ve heard vibes do travel great lengths if they re true enough..
so this goes out to ibrahim: even though you may be a fucked up person,you re still a good friend

and oh,caca!BFF for sure! =D
remember the victory celebrations at uet??
fuck,remember UfuckingET??
HAAAHAHA..that was among the most fucked up psychological trips i ve ever had the good fortune of bumping into..

2006-08-04T01:09:00.000+05:00

should i get wasted and spend the night peacefully and wake up late or do i eat lots of protein for dinner,think myself to death all over the night and then wake up early so that i have enough energy to do more weights than i did the last week??
should i read a book or should i practice my chops??
or should i just listen to sigur ros??

why do we even bother when we re damned and forsaken?

2006-08-04T01:05:00.000+05:00

the music gets so loud that it hurts

dont worry..all these intelligent questions will abandon me once i get myself back to a college going routine..it almost beggars belief but they will
and i inch closer everyday

2006-08-03T01:32:00.000+05:00

ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:24 AM):
btw have u seen that guy...apernit???indias fastest guitarist
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:25 AM):
lol
nai
tu ne kahan se dehk lia?
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:25 AM):
lol zooom
akheer
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:25 AM):
akheer in a sarcastic sense i hope?
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:25 AM):
yaaar aik bilkul hee disco wala track
lol
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:26 AM):
yea

woh banda shredding kar raha hai aur saath saath gaa raha hai
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:26 AM):
LOLOLOL

2006-08-03T01:26:00.000+05:00

(8) where do i start,where do i begin (8)
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:13 AM):
so lums boii.....lookin forward for the tour of lahore?
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:14 AM):
lol...yeah
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:19 AM):
LOL sirr.harvester of sorrow,kya baat hai
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:19 AM):

ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:20 AM):
remember that wild debates at lgs jab hum log gaano ko translate kar rahay thay
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:20 AM):
lol..."afsosnaak magar sach" sad but true??
jungle mein khush-amdeed :
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:20 AM):

ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:21 AM):
na kaabil-e-maafi awwal aur doum
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:21 AM):
LOL
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:21 AM):
nooon-alif-bay
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:23 AM):
lol...chaaar ghurhsawaaar
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:23 AM):
wohinsaan jis ne poori dunia bech di
ghum ka kaashtkaar!! says (1:24 AM):
boy he must be a rich man
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:24 AM):
:

mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:13 AM):
lol...yeah...phir chariot race hoti hai...govinda wali movies ki tarah
haider says (1:13 AM):
LOL yeah!
haider says (1:17 AM):
am trying to find his profile
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:17 AM):
yahya ki?
haider says (1:17 AM):
yeah
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:17 AM):
lol
yaar
haider says (1:19 AM):
http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=6185077035537408667
AHH bouy milgaya
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:20 AM):
jack daniels?
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:21 AM):
knuckle dusters ki community join ki wi hai
haider says (1:21 AM):
he had a pic of knuckle dusters pehle
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:21 AM):

mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:23 AM):
jack daniels bhi koi kam nahi hai...kaafi bara chawal insaan hai...subhan ne blue label ki lagayi wi hai pic

*sigh*
this can never ever come back..never!no matter how hard we try..

2006-08-03T01:16:00.000+05:00

(8) cause your friends are fucked up anywayy (8)
(8)twoooo-hoooo(8)
Svefn-G-Englar
(8)jokerman (8)
(8) have you forgotten?? (8)
o bhenchod result 8th/9th ko araha hai??TUJHE KISNE BATAYA??
(8)i still cant believe (8)
yaar poty kesi thi teri?
(8) and christmas trees were...(8)
"hmm...footie with ddf,gunsmoke with ddf and movie scene with ddf =D" :D :D
(8) have you forgotten??(8)

haider says (1:09 AM):
maybe i ll see someday,keh teri body bahat bune ho and walking proudly,until i come and say,"shahzad pani lade" and you retort" naukar laga huun tera?!?!?"
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:10 AM):
LOL
haider says (1:10 AM):
akheer hi hai woh gaandu bhi
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:10 AM):
woh unth hai yaar...shora
haider says (1:10 AM):
he also got boobs!
haider says (1:11 AM):
and his body is more like that of ZANGIEF from streetfighter
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:11 AM):
LOL...yaar woh raat ke 4 bajay uth ke apni maalish jo kerwata hai

haider says (1:11 AM):
LOL
haider says (1:12 AM):
aur bhagta hai maidan meh,agar ruk ek sec keh liyay to ushe koray pertay hain apne baap seh
mysterium terribile et fascinans says (1:13 AM):
lol...yeah...phir chariot race hoti hai...govinda wali movies ki tarah
haider says (1:13 AM):
LOL yeah!

:|

man..time has taken a life of its own

(8) its these little things that can pull you under,live your life with joy and wonder (8)

:( :( :( :( :( :( yeh kya bakwas hai yaar??KUCH HO KYUN NAHI RAHA??

2006-08-02T21:09:00.000+05:00

proteins proteins and proteins

ali,i ll get you for this someday
i havent eaten anything fried properly in a whole month and with all these proteins,everyday gets hotter than the last one...i used to be able to survive the lahore summer really easily in higher temperatures,but this is just killing me now
plus the shit and sweat smell extra bad due to the proteins :
chelo..koi nai

2006-07-30T05:13:00.000+05:00

anger can make small people do great things

and i believe that its gonna be anger and the conviction and the determination to side by whats right and to teach an important and everlasting lesson about the truth,which will get me through it

may God bless me

2006-07-30T04:02:00.000+05:00

the reason i m making this post now is because i just realised that i missed out on one of the movies i had seen during the time when i saw some 7-8 movies quite regularly...and its not that i m doing so for the sake of plugging the gap left in my thoughts by not expressing my thoughts about it..
i m doing so because it frankly deserves a mention..

and the movie is 'the passion of the christ'
its just an abstract manifestation of the greatness of humanity..
it is explicit in it graphics yet implicit in its meaning..which ofcourse,as happens with all my favourite stuff,are tantamount to all the different perspectives/interpretations of different people
its a visually loud movie...and its a piece of art

its like that thick fabric which gives you warmth albeit with a shudder when it touches you
its just simply amazing

anyways,the book is going pretty okay uptil now..
tonight was fun..albeit a bit shortlived for my liking
and i sincerely hope from the deepest darkest alleys of my heart that it doesnt rain in the next 15 hours..we ve been waiting for a decent football match for 2 weeks now and only god,apart from us ourselves,knows the level of aniety that we have built up inside of us due to the lack of any action

2006-07-29T04:19:00.000+05:00

no weekdays,no alarms,no running out of time=big smiley!

=D

DSC01098

2006-07-28T23:44:00.000+05:00

DSC01098
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

is it a bird??is it a plane??
nope,its a fridge! :|

this is my little fridgy widgy..all mine
its name is vladimir
vladimirs got alot of capacity to handle stuff,is peacefully medicated,and inspite of its capacity sometimes cant handle a small chocolate if not placed correctly

hmmm...plenty of lessons we can learn from good ol' vladimir

if anyone gets to hear the story of my life from me, they ll agree that its just sad...sad in a pathetic sense,not a tragic sense..
but the best part is,no one will ever get to know...ever!
*sinister yet pathetic laugh echoes indefinitely till it just turns into an eery drone*

2006-07-27T20:15:00.000+05:00

man
inspite of many attempts to kickstart my reading,i just cant get myself to look at this book
i dont know why..
perhaps i dont want a mental overload but the first short story i ve read wasnt too taxing..but somehow,argh,i dont know,i cant pick this book up..
whatever my brain tells me is just a lame defense mechanism
so i ma gonna have to change the book and i guess start reading 'the history of god' by karen armstrong again...i was in the middle of it quite a long time back but then somehow abandoned it..
so i ll start it again..
lets hope that does the trick

guilty pleasure for the day: linkin park
if they didnt have such lame lyrics,i d convert back...but sometimes it just so happens that i dig their tunes
i mean i was humming this tune the other day and i realised after quite a while that it was linkin park..that was what made me rediscover it..
chelo..
khair hai..lets blame it on the vacations
everyone says they are taking their toll on me..i guess they really are! :\

DSC01083

2006-07-26T19:54:00.000+05:00

DSC01083
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

well,i got a haircut..lol,sort of

omer must be saying 'welcome to the club' already..

my mom says 'pagal lag rahay ho' and is quite angry..rightly so too..
haha

2006-07-26T17:16:00.000+05:00

ahh
i finally am back online
it may be possible that i m a loser who cant live without the internet but i d like to believe its because it turns into one of those moments when i want something and i cant get it..even if that is for a mere half an hour or more of pointless browsing e.g. blogs and football sites
apparently,this was caused by some problem which occured because the electrician tried to open the internet ports for all the rooms (currently its only in my room but there are small ports in each room which may work if plugged into if the main internet cable wire is plugged at the main thing on the roof which worldcall doesnt want) which resulted in it getting waterlogged and screwed up because of the rain..talk about bad karma
but still,its working now so woohoo..
now that i have this off my chest,i can finally start reading the next kafka book *steadies himself*
farrukh and co. have a plan for salt n pepper tomorrow which should be fun...but i want to play some football..and the rain is totally fucking it all up each day
another thing that the rain very ceremoniously fucks up is the security system..last night it went off 7 times before i eventually decided to spend the night with the security threats looming and hovering above my head while the system was off..
ah,the rain,the rain...

chelo, now i m off to have lobia-chaawal with loads of kebabs and 2 boiled eggs with some mango milk shake,a glass of milk and eventually,tea..

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2006-07-25T11:27:00.000+05:00

DSC01066.JPG
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

These were just amazing.overcast weather and some great samosas.oh,and the rain screwed up all my plans of football as well as my internet.i can only post from my cell now.sigh :/ i havent even started reading the next book

2006-07-22T02:14:00.000+05:00

nestle red grape juice of late has developed a sort of a chink in its armour for me..
its at times too unyielding,and at other times,its a bit too overwhelming
i just cant get the right balance i m looking for

but still,i guess its a bit like sex
if its good,its really good...if its not good,its still pretty good

2006-07-22T01:32:00.000+05:00

just finished reading 'the trial' by franz kafka

it is a wonderful book to say the least
from the very outset,it was evident that one had to read between the lines and apart from the literal meaning of the sentences, a parallel world canvas was being aligned, sometimes even 2 or 3, where kafka painted the human brain and general psychology and ones interaction with ones own brain on a micro level on one, as well as bureacracy,red tape,inefficiency,totalitarianism,art and religion on the other canvas..

i would be no one to pass judgement on the fact as to whether its a difficult book or not...certainly,its the people who have difficulty in picking up stuff and not the book..the book remains constant while the outcome changes as the book changes hands between different people..
ofcourse, the book can have a gazillion other interpretations and the story line could go on endlessly and that it remains incomplete...perhaps kafka had one definitive meaning which he wanted to communicate with the people and it could only have been revealed by the chapters that were missing..hence,making this incomplete..perhaps kafka wanted it to remain the way it is..open to interpretation...

this book may bore you to death or be the key to your transformation into a new human being,or both...either way,its a pretty amazing read...atleast it was one for me..

whenever i m tempted to term a thing as 'genius', like the last book i read, or for example a guitar player like steve vai, i always have my doubts
the feeling that 'it cant get better than this' comes with, an almost child-like complaint, of 'cant it be better?'
that always triggers a debate in my head and the conclusion always is that i should not be hard on them since they are only humans..
the melancholy is then overturned by a sense of joy when it dawns upon me that i should hence judge them with the bar the human race has set...and when one considers that these people really take the bar of the human race to another level, one really has to applaud them and only then term them as 'geniuses'..
ofcourse, now that the algorithm for judging art for me is clear, it is doubtless that i d waste any more time in terming this book as pure literary genius..

2006-07-19T01:34:00.000+05:00

i finished reading "long walk to freedom" by nelson mandela (his autobiography) sometime yesterday
now when i had initially started reading the book, i found it to be quite boring, repetitive, un-moving and well, primitive..
even though the friend who i borrowed (never to be returned btw muaahaha) this book from advised me to skip the first two chapters and read from the part where his struggle starts, but as always, i didnt follow his advice, to my own peril ofcourse..
i even wanted to write a blogpost hastily titled 'long read to boredom' but perhaps it was god himself, who didnt want me to disrespect the great work that followed the first few chapters and i somehow didnt end up writing that..
this is one book that will remain in my mind for quite a long time..

this book is not about the seemingly mild and calm sweet oldie i saw on tv quite a number of times as a child...this is the mandela who redefines what struggle is..
although sometimes i m a bit uneasy and think of many possibilities that could ve occured which would ve made it much much more difficult for him and then one would ve called it the ultimate sacrifice, but at other times, i am overwhelmed by the greatness of his actions,not only his,but of the countless other people important to the struggle of the south africa plagued by apartheid about whom we had never heard before..
his work preaches courage and hope in mankind..certainly, when a person like him with the conditions around him can be optimistic, then its absolutely criminal for ordinary mortals like us to contemplate and comment about the bleak future of mankind on our blogs and msn windows..
the evil that men do surely does live on and on (like the iron maiden song goes) but it always will be overshadowed by the greatness and the progress of mankind...
the mere repetition of the fact all along the book about him being an ordinary man and an ordinary mortal makes him extraordinary and immortal,rightly so too!..
we, being nobodies, think of ourselves much more (subconsciously whether we like it or not) than mandela thinks of himself..
again,like they say in vanilla sky,the biggest things in life are the smallest things in life..or something of the sort..

this book is an absolute must..and if you arent inspired and moved by this book, then perhaps the only thing you might be moved by would be the thought of razors and a certain band called 'type o negative'..
pun intended!

2006-07-17T23:38:00.000+05:00

the darker forces succeeded!

and i dont know whether i passed or failed..only time would tell!

perhaps the decision hasnt been announced yet and the curtains arent drawn just yet...that fills me with both perplexity and disdain...perplexity because even if it is a happy ending, it may not be an ending..it may be like a victory in a battle but not the war..
and perhaps disdain because it may turn out uglier..

2006-07-13T20:23:00.000+05:00

man
i had a bizarre dream
that i got my result..and i had 2 A's,a B, and a C in economics..
woah :and the strange part was that i was okay with that result,atleast on the surface..since i was trying to convince myself that oh okay,thats good enough for lums,but i was bemused from the inside.a C in economics
that really would be something weird :
anyways,the weather gets shittier each day
and by shittier,i mean more rains
i seriously dont get the concept of people liking rain..i mean i love overcast conditions,infact,they re my favourite...but rain is something i dont like
i mean apart from being pointless and not bringing anything good with them,they have so many banes that its unbelievable to see people praying for rains
okay,if you re a farmer,then i completely understand your point of view..but dont tell me these urban children cry with joy whenever they see a spot of rain because they re delighted for the farmers in pindi bhattian or something..
somehow,and its ironic,the apparently 'best' areas of lahore have non-existant drainage systems and you just keep hoping all the time that the max biaggi on his cd70 doesnt feel the need for adventure,but more often than not,he does..and that just means dirt and water all over your car..
yes for a cool breeze and some clouds..no for rain :S
plus,i ve been wanting to start swimming again but some problem just has to occur..anyway,the pool guy came today and i told him to put in the chlorine so that i can swim tomorrow but given that it rained today and will rain as the night goes by too,theres the absolute probability of dead insects and dead animals...chelo,i ll analyse the situation tomorrow and if it isnt too bad,its swimming ahoy for me!

2006-07-12T20:52:00.000+05:00

i realised that i havent updated my blog in quite a while..
didnt feel like posting anything..because there was nothing of note..or whatever there inside me died down before i came infront of the monitor
anyways,i just thought it would be fun to post an insight into a part of my life which i dont usually talk about..so here goes..

a fairytale derailed says (8:02 PM):
oye

shahzad says (8:02 PM):
dadogggfather
a fairytale derailed says (8:02 PM):
psycho girl
shahzad says (8:02 PM):
lol
maro mujhe
a fairytale derailed says (8:02 PM):
copyrights...no shit seriously

shahzad says (8:02 PM):
HAHAHAHHA
shahzad says (8:03 PM):
lun
a fairytale derailed says (8:03 PM):
yeah
lun!
kya kar rahi theen?
shahzad says (8:03 PM):
main brucey ko sun rehee thee
a fairytale derailed says (8:03 PM):
hmmm...
shahzad says (8:03 PM):
tum queen ko?
a fairytale derailed says (8:03 PM):
nai..
queen owns you!

shahzad says (8:03 PM):
oh
shahzad says (8:04 PM):
heh
salwa was asking me abhee
a fairytale derailed says (8:04 PM):
kya?
shahzad says (8:04 PM):
yeh uske flickr pe kesee pics hai
meney kaha iska matlab hai mera flickr ziada acha hai
HAHAHA
shahzad says (8:05 PM):
i was like wo bottles toot gayee uske haath main
a fairytale derailed says (8:05 PM):
yaar toot ni gayeen mere haath mein

lol
harr ek ko uss pic se kya masla hai? i mean ek apni zindagi ki pic ni laga sakta
asfand asked me about it yesterday too
a fairytale derailed says (8:06 PM):
and was like dude,whats with the blood wali pic??and the next pic in which you re lying around looking more fucked up than a mexican whore..
lol
shahzad says (8:06 PM):
jub tumne meri aur apnih pic lagayee thee flickr pe sub se pehle, i told you to take it. tumne kaha nahi and shit (zidd whatever) then you eventually had to take it off because jo meney socha woi howa. and now this...
its not funny
shahzad says (8:07 PM):
off*
a fairytale derailed says (8:07 PM):
hain??i didnt take if off sarah baby
abhi bhi hai kahin
as in album mein hai
and now i ve sorted it out
shahzad says (8:07 PM):
yes
NOW
a fairytale derailed says (8:07 PM):
and if somehow sham bhai sneaks into this this time,its okay,i m cool with him..
a fairytale derailed says (8:08 PM):
besides,this is fool proof my friend
agar pakra jaoon ga na,to tumhari waja se pakra jaoon ga
i told you not to add me!
lekin nai!
shahzad says (8:08 PM):
lun
a fairytale derailed says (8:08 PM):
jis din naya address banaya,ussi din add hogaya mein waapis
lun!!
shahzad says (8:08 PM):
toh main del. ker detee hoon is main kia hai
jo pakra jana tha wo toh ho gya hia
sham whatever ne dekh lia
a fairytale derailed says (8:08 PM):
nai,woh koi pakra nai jana tha
everyone knows...and i seriously dont give a fuck
shahzad says (8:09 PM):
chaloooo
dont tell me that
a fairytale derailed says (8:09 PM):
oh please
as in agar pata chal gaya hai to i cant do anything now
shahzad says (8:09 PM):
everyone knows you dont give a fuck. my ass
a fairytale derailed says (8:09 PM):
pata chalne se pehle ghussa kerta hoon mein hamesha
okay,my ass

shahzad says (8:09 PM):
hmm
shezu
shahzad says (8:10 PM):
sigh pagal ho gya baby
awww
a fairytale derailed says (8:10 PM):

lol
acha
tum ne khaya kuch?
tumne bhenchod mujhe samosay yaad kara diay hain
shahzad says (8:10 PM):
nai
a fairytale derailed says (8:10 PM):
hmm..
shahzad says (8:10 PM):
ghatiya hote hian mat khana
tum eggs khao
a fairytale derailed says (8:11 PM):
woh to khaoon ga hi...2 egg whites kuch dair mein..
phir raat ka khana
tehri..yum yum...with something chicken fried shit!
shahzad says (8:11 PM):
kia ker re thay
a fairytale derailed says (8:11 PM):
kuch nai...buss tumhari call ke baad mein ne maira ke saath thori ps2 aur kheli...lol...i defeated her 6-1..i had arsenal and she had barca
phir bus mein kamray mein leta ra neeche in logon ke saath aur chai pee
phir mein ne shower lia lambaaaa saa
a fairytale derailed says (8:12 PM):
bus phir abhi abhi online aaya tha...and 'bumped into yew'
shahzad says (8:12 PM):
oh pretty sight
shahzad says (8:13 PM):
hahah
shahzad
and rising and roxen live at sozoworld
minus ONE and :a fairytale derailed says (8:13 PM):
minus ONE and :whats that?
shahzad says (8:14 PM):
shahzad jana hai?
a fairytale derailed says (8:14 PM):
LOL...pagal ho??sahih hai chaltay hain
wahan pe tumhare saaray friends hongay..shahzad says (8:14 PM):
nahi tum hi keh rehay thay, humaree umer ke bachay aisee jagho pe hi jatay hain plays and shit and all
a fairytale derailed says (8:15 PM):
haan to jatay hain in jaghon pe...chalte hain lol..
shahzad says (8:15 PM):
tumhay hi pata ho ga
my ass
i mean where did that even come from??
tumne socha bhee kese
a fairytale derailed says (8:15 PM):
bus meri marzi!
shahzad says (8:16 PM):
merzi!
TUMHAREE MERZII
a fairytale derailed says (8:16 PM):
yeah!
sirf MERI marzi!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

a fairytale derailed says (8:16 PM):
dont do that sarah

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad says (8:16 PM):
why

You have just sent a Nudge!

You may not send a Nudge that often.

You may not send a Nudge that often.

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

a fairytale derailed says (8:16 PM):
yaar yeh kya bakwas hai
shahzad says (8:16 PM):
baby my nudges are off
you tell me
a fairytale derailed says (8:16 PM):
why cant i send nudges that often

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad just sent you a Nudge!

shahzad says (8:17 PM):
hahaha
a fairytale derailed says (8:17 PM):
mujhe kuch ni hora
shahzad says (8:17 PM):

awwww
a fairytale derailed says (8:17 PM):

shahzad says (8:17 PM):
come to then
i ll give you a real nudge
a fairytale derailed says (8:17 PM):
lol
shahzad says (8:17 PM):
hmm
a fairytale derailed says (8:18 PM):
tumne kya kia?
shahzad says (8:18 PM):
friends dekh rehee thee
a fairytale derailed says (8:18 PM):
:aur?
shahzad says (8:18 PM):
time hi kitna tha shahzad?
a fairytale derailed says (8:18 PM):
bohat ziada tha
3 fucking hours
mein ne itna kuch kar lia aur tum bethi ki bethi raheen
shahzad says (8:18 PM):
leh, tumne konsa kashmir ka maslah hal kia hia. game hi kheli hai
a fairytale derailed says (8:19 PM):
nai...mein ne meditation bhi ki
shahzad says (8:19 PM):
HAHAHHHA
a fairytale derailed says (8:19 PM):
shower ke baad mein lait ke gaanay sun raha tha...aur i was breathing in from the nose and out from my mouth...each time imagining that i was inhaling white stuff and exhaling black stuff...signifying the intake of positive thoughts and the flushing of negative ones
a fairytale derailed says (8:20 PM):
isi liye mein itne achay mood mein hoon
shahzad says (8:20 PM):
OHHH
so thats that
aww
great. try kerna chaiye
a fairytale derailed says (8:21 PM):
yeah kero
lol

shahzad says (8:21 PM):

tumne i m on fire sunna?
a fairytale derailed says (8:21 PM):
im on fire?
kiska?
shahzad says (8:21 PM):
brcuey
a fairytale derailed says (8:22 PM):
nai..abhi tak nai suna
queen sun ra tha
sarah
yaar
shahzad says (8:22 PM):
okay
a fairytale derailed says (8:22 PM):
star world pe iss month andrea bocelli ka concert lagna tha..and i cant miss that
shahzad says (8:22 PM):
baby
a fairytale derailed says (8:22 PM):
can you find out ke kab lagay ga?
shahzad says (8:23 PM):
hmm
okay
a fairytale derailed says (8:23 PM):
umm,i meant aaj ki tareekh mein pata chalna chaiye

shahzad says (8:23 PM):
tareekh
a fairytale derailed says (8:23 PM):
date
shahzad says (8:23 PM):
poet
a fairytale derailed says (8:23 PM):

shahzad says (8:23 PM):
kewt
a fairytale derailed says (8:24 PM):
yeah,bohat!
i know

shahzad says (8:24 PM):
meney wesa uska koi add nahi dekha
a fairytale derailed says (8:24 PM):
i want to break free,i want to break free ..freddy mercury and brian may..
shahzad says (8:24 PM):
concert ka.
ad
a fairytale derailed says (8:24 PM):
yaar sarah 'this month on star world' mein dikhatay hain..andrea bocelli live in concert
shahzad says (8:24 PM):
i love that song dead!
a fairytale derailed says (8:25 PM):
andrea bocelli even performed onceon american idol with some producer on the piano..saw that na??
shahzad says (8:25 PM):
hmm
acha
i dont remember
a fairytale derailed says (8:26 PM):
sarah.. ..wtf..hwo can you not remember??he was amazing
he was jsut simply amazing
that night
i gotta look up for that video
shahzad says (8:26 PM):
maybe i didnt see him
i dont know
a fairytale derailed says (8:26 PM):
how can you not?
blagh
shahzad says (8:27 PM):
because imma creep
lol
a fairytale derailed says (8:27 PM):
it was much better than all the performances on the finale...although woh whitney houston wala one and meat loaf were kickass
shahzad says (8:28 PM):
hmmm
a fairytale derailed says (8:28 PM):
American Idol Contestant Slept With Paula AbdulVideo: Paula Abdul Admits She Slept With Every American Idol Contestant

LOL
shahzad says (8:28 PM):
lol
shahzad says (8:29 PM):
yeh kahan se?
dont tell me AI is back
a fairytale derailed says (8:29 PM):
yaar woh andrea bocelli ki performance hi dhoond raha tha to yeh link bhi nazar aaya
who is Al?
shahzad says (8:30 PM):
i know there was this guy clay aiken, runner up tha, she slept with him
american idol
lun
i didnt knew she slept with ALL of them :supergirl hai wo toh
a fairytale derailed says (8:30 PM):
lol...leh ...she sleeps with all of them...muft mein...leh
bari nymph hai phir to

shahzad says (8:31 PM):
lun hia wo
samjh agayee?
LUN?
a fairytale derailed says (8:31 PM):
kon,paula ya contestants?
shahzad says (8:31 PM):
dono
a fairytale derailed says (8:31 PM):
lol
shahzad says (8:32 PM):
yeap
a fairytale derailed says (8:32 PM):
sahih hai
yaar yeh queen to full stoner band hai
shahzad says (8:32 PM):
yeah
a fairytale derailed says (8:33 PM):
nai ab yeah na karo...you didnt think it was one
tumhare liye stoner band hai 'rabbi' LOL
shahzad says (8:33 PM):
stoner nai, per acha hai
tum keh re ho toh stoner bhee ho ga
whose rabbi?
a fairytale derailed says (8:33 PM):
acha sahih hai,you just killed the joke sarah
a fairytale derailed says (8:34 PM):
rabbi ...you dont know rabbi??yaar woh sikh who sang bullah ki jana mein kaun?
shahzad says (8:34 PM):
batao toh
rabbi kon hai
OH
lol
rabbi toh aise keh re ho jese jiggar hia
aur yeh bara lame joke tha
a fairytale derailed says (8:34 PM):
to usse kya kahoon?i forgot his last name na...rabbi shergill
yaar acha joke tha
a fairytale derailed says (8:35 PM):
rabbi..stoner \m/
shahzad says (8:35 PM):
hahhaha
yeah
uske ganay dl kerlo
a fairytale derailed says (8:35 PM):
tum ker lo ..you re the stoner
among us
shahzad says (8:35 PM):
that would be a good joke
a fairytale derailed says (8:35 PM):
nai,they arent that bad sarah...
shahzad says (8:35 PM):
oh puh leeeeese
a fairytale derailed says (8:35 PM):
yeah,rabbi is indias fastest guitar player LOL
shahzad says (8:36 PM):
i know they re not that bad. laikin tum sunnno gay toh joke ho ga
a fairytale derailed says (8:36 PM):
that btw was a joke
shahzad says (8:36 PM):
he is?
a fairytale derailed says (8:36 PM):
kyun mein alien hoon?
shahzad says (8:36 PM):
AMAZING
concert pe na chalain?
humaree omer ke bachay yehee kerte hian
a fairytale derailed says (8:36 PM):
sarah,THAT WAS A JOKE...even euphorias guitarist is faster than rabbi
yeah concert pe chalte hain
shahzad says (8:36 PM):
tum tum ho
a fairytale derailed says (8:36 PM):
rabbi aur ali azmat ka concert hua tha...ek dafa...uss pe rabia ne kaha tha keh sarah ko bhi le aao
shahzad says (8:36 PM):
HAHAHHA
haaaaaa
a fairytale derailed says (8:37 PM):
mein ne kaha koi zaroorat nahi hai...mein khud bhi nahi gaya
shahzad says (8:37 PM):
kasam khao?
baray tum cheap ho
a fairytale derailed says (8:37 PM):
sarah tumhein bataya to tha...royal palm mein
shahzad says (8:37 PM):
KYON NAI
haaaaaaaaan
wooo
a fairytale derailed says (8:37 PM):
haan haan...because of YOUR thinking,we miss out on so many golden occasions where we can be together
shahzad says (8:37 PM):
jis main wo log gaye bhee thay
rabia and ali
a fairytale derailed says (8:37 PM):
yeah...babar bhai wagera bhi sab gaye thay
shahzad says (8:37 PM):
achaa???
shahzad says (8:38 PM):
thoughtful ho tum baray
exams thay tumhare i guess
uss time
you were being shahzad
a fairytale derailed says (8:38 PM):
nai,i guess nai thay exams
faarigh tha mein lol
shahzad says (8:38 PM):
and i d to talk on the phone instead of seeing you live
rather rabbii the greatest guitarist ever
a fairytale derailed says (8:38 PM):
oh please..its about us being together at a concert...not about us being together
because we can be together some where else too...why go to a concert?
shahzad says (8:39 PM):
because its lun
and its not brucey
a fairytale derailed says (8:39 PM):
okay,fuck you
shahzad says (8:39 PM):
acha sai hai rabbi ka concert
chal re hain next tim
e
a fairytale derailed says (8:39 PM):
oh please
rabbi LOL
hahahaha
pagal ho?
shahzad says (8:39 PM):
the greatest guitarist ever
a fairytale derailed says (8:39 PM):
okay okay,i was kidding
shahzad says (8:39 PM):
fastest*
a fairytale derailed says (8:39 PM):
sarah,he sucks
shahzad says (8:40 PM):
yeah
a fairytale derailed says (8:40 PM):
he uses a capo and then plays a barre chord LOL
shahzad says (8:40 PM):
you know there was a movie i was watching on mgm
a fairytale derailed says (8:40 PM):
mgm sucks balls
its always black and white
i m sure you love that channel
shahzad says (8:41 PM):
us main the guy invites his girlfriend over...to meet his mum you know. toh his mom didnt like the girl. so to disgust her, she took off his sons pants and started kissing and biting his ass (i swear i saw it). going to a rabbi concert is even disgusting than THAT
not really
shahzad says (8:42 PM):
they show nude girls and shit
aur fazool heroes. they look like pornstarrs
that channel sucks
kidher ho
a fairytale derailed says (8:42 PM):
they DO?
nai i was just imagining
a fairytale derailed says (8:43 PM):
they never show nude girls sarah
shahzad says (8:43 PM):
i swwear i saw so many times
this just shows you dont watch much tv
a fairytale derailed says (8:44 PM):
nai,i do watch tv ...i just dont watch any channels...LOL
shahzad says (8:44 PM):
which is a good thing (:
a fairytale derailed says (8:44 PM):
okay lame joke
shahzad says (8:44 PM):
you think?
a fairytale derailed says (8:44 PM):
kya?
shahzad says (8:44 PM):
you think that was a lame joke?
shahzad
a fairytale derailed says (8:45 PM):
no,i said that just so that you could say 'oh nai shahzad,it was funny'
shahzad says (8:45 PM):
kyon mera dimagh kharab lagtah hai tumhay?
shahzad says (8:46 PM):
jab wo ad aya tha uska andrea ka toh kia likha ata tha, andrea live in concert or something else?
a fairytale derailed says (8:46 PM):
andrea bocelli live in concert ...aur uski blind shakal dekhatay hain
okay,i shouldnt take like that about him ..
i mean he does have eyesight problems :lekin phir bhi
shahzad says (8:46 PM):
usko throat main bhee problem hia
bechara
beemar hai
a fairytale derailed says (8:47 PM):
...pagal ho??uske throat mein problem hoti to he wouldnt have sung as high as he does ..
btw,hes a singer sarah if you didnt know LOL
aur how can a singer have a chronic throat problem and still sing?
shahzad says (8:47 PM):
umm
wel he does
apparently
a fairytale derailed says (8:48 PM):
well sarah,abhi kuch dair pehle you told me that you dont know who andrea bocelli is
shahzad says (8:48 PM):
perha na uske baray main
sigh
a fairytale derailed says (8:48 PM):
oh okay..nice
shahzad says (8:48 PM):

a fairytale derailed says (8:48 PM):
ek sec.
shahzad says (8:49 PM):
nai
a fairytale derailed says (8:49 PM):
EK SECOND RUKO SARAH!
shahzad says (8:49 PM):
OKAY SHAHZAD I WAS KIDDING
a fairytale derailed says (8:49 PM):
lol okay :a fairytale derailed says (8:53 PM):
okay,check my blog btw,you ll be in for a surprise LOL

and it goes on and on and on and on...
:D

2006-07-07T02:00:00.000+05:00

"...Though half crippled by thrombosis, Mr. Bugti, who claims to have killed his first man at the age of 12, was in good spirits. "It is better to die quickly in the mountain than slowly in bed," he said, surrounded by a silent crowd of Bugti gunmen. A fan of Nietzsche and Ghenghis Khan, he speaks perfect English and delights in punctiliously-pronounced discourses on the lovelife of camels and wreaking horrible revenge on hs foes. "What is better than seeing your enemies driven before you and then taking their women to bed?" he says."

he has the hospitality of a 7th century arab, wit of a modern day Sikh, and the personality of a mongol warrior cum leader..
much more impressive than our general saab in his sunglasses :D

2006-07-06T23:18:00.000+05:00

2010-02-0125

=D!!

p.s. hadiqa kianis brother really has some vocal chords :\..i cant believe he hasnt disowned his sister for the attrocities (purely vocal) she commits on television

DSC00969

2006-06-28T09:34:00.000+05:00

DSC00969
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

words words words words..

THIS is for all the times i ve tried to dissociate myself from LUMS and change the topic of discussion whenever it gets even close to that university.. *clinks glass*

it is here after alot of hair-pulling and gut-wrenching moments (ESPECIALLY shetty getting the admission and me knowing about it for a whole week now,with the clock gleefully serving as a timebomb for dear ol' nosh)
right now,i just cant say how i feel
no,it isnt all a kaleidoscope of lies...life isnt that simple
its a kaleidoscope of juxtaposised conversations,and it does mean something to me!

=D!!

2006-06-26T02:10:00.000+05:00

its not as if i m mightily impressed by this state of helplessness..being 'in limbo' as i call it
its just that i feel i ve handed myself over to either my own brains or something else,anything that is not the society or anything i m acquainted with..and that feeling brings hopes of something that really does mean something..:|

DSC00941

2006-06-25T09:06:00.000+05:00

DSC00941
Originally uploaded by juxtaposisedconversations.

the elixir of life...and the causality of so much more

2006-06-25T07:17:00.000+05:00

why oh why did i not watch all these movies in my life?
why did i voluntarily deprive myself of the emotional merry-go-rounds that hollywood offers?

i just saw vanilla sky...oh,totally loved it
i just thought they rushed in the LE part,and it was a bit too abrupt and you go 'hain,wtf bleh' but the scenes like the one at the end with the flashbacks always make me emotional..and really,nothings bigger than the small things

'consequences,david'..aah!

i ve been watching some movies over the past week or so
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind - totally loved it..again,made me pretty emotional..and i would ve cried much more than i did (which was much more than what i usually do) if the disc at the end didnt fuck up,because those really were the scenes..
requiem for a dream - nice..good movie..not bad at all...loved some of the shots..
american history X - really very great...i mean yeah,really great
godfather 1 and 2 - bleh,i ve lost the taste for it,save marlon brando and you cant help but love his role
21 grams - oh,i hate sean penn,i so totally do...but not a bad movie,yeah,pretty good
the last samurai - yeah,not too bad..
failure to launch - oh my god,does it fucking suck,or does it fucking suck?
oh,and donnie darko..thats what got me into movies at the first place

2006-06-25T04:21:00.000+05:00

why has HE made us and then left us alone?
why doesnt he show himself?
why is his light so bright,great,almost violent,almost calm,widespread,more than enough to cover every patch of land on the earth,yet there are objects placed meticulously to keep everyone in the darker colder moister shadows?

why am i in limbo?why doesnt the voice on the other side of the handset not grab me by the ankles and push it upwards,so as to make my motion circular,so that i can free myself of the curse of looking in one direction...
why does the voice on the other side of the receiver not tell me that i am ungrateful for going off to watch a movie leaving that voice to talk only to her head and to not something tangible?why is it so simple yet so complicated?why am i so thankless and ungrateful yet totally humbled by the greatness of what is?

why doesnt this high last forever?
is this the dream between the reality,or is it vice versa?
has this left my life changed?forever?

how long is forever?
the pulses and tones of the telephone set while waiting for the other person to pick up..if slow enough,the difference between one beep to the next can take forever,cant it?then why doesnt it??
does this mean that everything can take forever?or if we think hard enough,nothing would take forever if there is such a thing like forever?
the answer to all that is that the only constant is time,no?isnt that the answer?
then if time is the only constant,how does time travel fit the equation?
can we tamper with the only thing thats constant in this universe?
should we?

:\ fuck that shit?

2006-06-23T02:09:00.000+05:00

hmm
so bloggerland has been quiet for quite some time now
not good

oh,and i so hate the 5 minute argentina fans,like that mustafa kid and ahsan shahbaz and i m sure there d be countless others
oh,and well done ghana..may stephen appiah and co. kick some brazilian balls (even if they dont manage to win the game :s)

2006-06-21T17:29:00.000+05:00

you know,i just looked at the light,and closed my eyes
realised how wonderful it is to close your eyes and see orange instead of the same old black
wonderful

while shaving,i tried putting a cut on one of my fingers...you know,nothing 'oh i m disturbed' or suicidal,just you know,out of curiosity..how does it feel to be hurt??because i clearly havent been hurt for quite a while now,cant even remember when i was the last time...so i just did it out of curiosity to see whether it would really hurt me or not...cut 1...2..3...4th on the same place...and my greatest fears really were realised..it didnt hurt..i guess we really do feel hurt only when we want to

was just thinking how fashionable it would be if my parents saw my my naked bloody corpse in my room when they eventually unlock it...sad,but fashionable..hahah
lol

:S

ever roamed around with no pants on,room locked,your favourite music on,doing what you always do and not caring and being happy??
no?
i thought so..

2006-06-19T03:03:00.000+05:00

:)
i dont think i ve been this content...ever

2006-06-11T19:13:00.000+05:00

my exams ended,the worldcup started,i got ill,was alright,got ill again,and poor old blogger was left uninformed of any of these activities...from the absolutely terrible preparation for the p3s,to the pretty okay accounting p3,to the going to mouses places,getting high with kfc before an economics paper,the economics related jugtein ('oye tere ghaar te 'barriers to exit' laga deaan ga'),the heat,asim ali and his last minute advice,to the pretty okay mcq paper (much better than expected),to the customary post-exam discussion cum celebration in the ladies toilet conveniently deemed unisexual by the british council,to mouse getting in a strangle,to me and mouse leaving and then ali sherry getting beaten up really bad and his father filing an FIR,to mouses own fight which luckily for him got called off,to the start of the world cup,to the illnesses to the donnie darko and the lack of guitar playing,the past few days have been weird :|
my elder sis goes to france on the 18th now and i ll be heading off to quetta for 2-3 weeks so i hope we jam sometime before that :now i m off to watch the second half of netherlands and serbia-montenegro
adiosu!

2006-06-05T21:28:00.000+05:00

shit..i just had multiple dejavus :|

2006-06-04T16:10:00.000+05:00

argh..i hate the fact that i m not able to switch back on once i switch myself off after an exam..i havent studied accounting in the past 2 days AT ALL...fuck!

other than that..economics p1 and p2 were okay...the mcqs were okay,i 'think'i got the comparative advantage one wrong,not sure though..fuck!
p2 was pretty okay...the data response was the easiest in the last 5 years...and so was the section 2...the same questions were expected by everyone and i could ve done any one out of those 3 easily...did the merit demerit goods one though..
the first part was just plain direct where you had to differentiate between merit and demerit goods...the second part asked for 2 ways for the government to influence the level of demerit goods in the economy...i suggested awareness programmes because there is a lack of information involved in the consumption of demerit goods which would shift the demand curve leftwards and hence reduce consumption...explained its drawbacks and effectiveness too with coverage,habit forming goods,apathy etc...the second one was of indirect taxes...showed how supply would shift leftwards and hence consumption would decrease again...explained the drawbacks about deadweight loss,accuracy,incentives etc.
blah,i might ve missed out on some points in there but oh well,dont know..blah...lets see..

accounting p4 on tuesday..arghh,must study! must fucking study!!

2006-06-02T00:01:00.000+05:00

economics p1 and p2 tomorrow
the weakest part for me are my mcqs,both the p1 and the p3..and i m afraid it may bring me down
so the spirits who have been following me,helping me,sometimes haunting me but chelo thats part of the game,and promising me great things,i dont ask for any extra strength,i just dont want me to diverge from the path now and take a detour..you have empowered me,now see me through..
get full marks in p2 shahzad,get full marks here...you know it can be done..you know you can do it...data responses are simple if not done hastily and there d be atleast one question which would be deep enough to allow me to express myself fully and yet not get confused or miss out on anything..and the nemesis of that can again be haste..
so keep this grave evil for the ones who claim much but in the end deserve to be found wanting,for i claim nothing..
they say an A in p2 is on 26-28/40..simple math then allows me to deduce that 32-33/40 is a 100%
they say an A in p4 is on 46-48/70 and simple math allows me to deduce that 53.33/70 is a 100%
they say an A in p1 is 25/30 and simple math allows me to deduce that 28/30 is a 100%
but anyways,all that counts for nothing..
all i aim for is a safe A...and then theres some food for thought..who doesnt like their cakes with a red cherry on top?its just that nobody wants himself to look fool enough to claim that he actually deserves it..and i m one of them!

anyways,the papers in the morning and i have to wake up at 6...ofcourse a day is not enough for me to prepare economics p1 and p2,and i would ve definitely asked for more..but its us who have to adjust with time,and not vice versa..besides,i should consider myself fortunate enough that i m not among the unfortunate batch of people who have maths,accounting,economics and business studies (and there are loads of them around) since they have 4-5 consecutive days of agony..
but anyways,after a few pleasant yet potentially harmful distractions,off i d be to bed where sleep awaits me,and when the sun rises,the gleeful partnership of red bull and sunglasses await together in joy and anticipation..
adiosu

2006-06-01T13:04:00.000+05:00

hmm...phew,i m finally here
3 more examination days
economics p1 p2 tomorrow
accounting p4 on the 6th
and accounting and economics p3s on the 9th
economics p4 and accounting 1 and 2 went okay..
bleh,i couldve gotten a 90/90 in p2,just made that silly error that i "think" i wasnt able to correct back in time..i mean how stupid of me,its really confusing with the long lists of costs in the accounting question with no lines whatsoever that which cost is under which heading,and i mistakenly used the value of the contribution thinking that was the value of the variable overheads
thats why i was wondering why the losses were so huge..but then i realised that in due time and corrected the first profitability statement and also corrected i think atleast the amended profitability statements for the first 2 goods..i think the last one has a 50/50 chance of correction since i calculated the change in profits according to the error i made and just made that calculation in my head..perhaps that may turn out to be wrong..i didnt have time to use the calculator,because when i was doing all this,the invigilator was taking the paper of the guy infront of me..khair,i still managed to scramble and write the new corrected amended profitabilities but there too had to quickly try and type it up on the calculator and write it down..perhaps i missed a zero on the calculator,but anyways,i was able to put the final profit there,but due to all these things,it might be wrong..
apart from that,i dont really think anything else would be wrong
my balance sheet didnot match at first but then the difference was an obvious one of 23000 and i looked up the information and the value for the accrued electricity was 23000 and i quickly entered that in the current liabilities (which i missed out earlier because there was just so much information in that question)
the balance sheet did finally match..phew..
the second question was a club accounts question..now since it came in november 05',everyone couldve bet their asses on the fact that it wont come in the paper..even sir said that theres no need to do club accounts since there isnt a chance of that coming..and surprise surprise,a full length question on club accounts..
the first part of it was a 4 mark bank reconciliation statement..heh,i m sure the people who didnt have accounts in o levels (yes,theres a high percentage of such people..why cant you just stick to the decisions you made morons?) would ve gotten that wrong..perhaps even the ones who had accounts in o levels would ve gotten that wrong..but anyways,i got that right..haha...that was easy...club accounts was pretty okay too...i dont think i missed out on anything,neither was there anything overly complicated in the question...
the final one was easy too...simple marginal costing..only that stupid error would lose me some marks perhaps,around 3-4 at most...if i had the time,i would ve corrected that easily...i m not a bit down because i might have gotten that wrong,i m a bit down because i KNEW that and SHOULDNT have gotten that wrong..but hey,perhaps i didnt get that wrong..oh well,theres no way of knowing now
loads of people werent able to complete their papers and missed out on the 3rd question (and still expected A's but chelo) so perhaps the aggregate would be low this time..the mcqs went okay too...difficult when compared to the past papers but nothing that would bother me too much..
so overall,it was quite okay..

as far as the economics p4 is concerned,went pretty okay too...the questions were again,different from the past papers but the overall theme was the same...one question on efficiency,one on market structures,one on the wage determination,one on investment and 2 others were general more or less i think
the data response was quite easy when compared to the previous years (perhaps because there were no market structures in it)
i attempted the economic efficiency question..and woah,was that long,or WAS THAT LONG?i cant remember myself writing that much in so little time ever..it was insane...but anyways,still managed to discuss productive and allocative efficiencies at length,discussed market failures in the form of public goods,externalities and merit and demerit goods and a lack of information,and monopolies as well as the ways in which government intervenes to correct all those specific market failures AS WELL AS why government intervention itself may sometimes result in inefficiency because of a lack of knowledge,the incentive problem and the distribution problem,and then finally concluded that government intervention is necessary but within limits,everything should have a balance..phew..i mean anyone who has economics would know how long an answer that would ve been..and surprisingly,it took me 50 minutes to do it,5 minutes lesser than the time i allocated of 55 minutes to each essay length question..
the second question i did was more or less a general one..i knew wage rate determination quite well but the questions second part had some other statement,i dunno,didnt bother properly reading it and contemplating over it..so the second question i did was the one which asked the benefits if a government encouraged investment in rural areas..discussed it with regards to the multiplier and the accelerator too (i think i used the accelerator here or was it in the data response?blah,anyways)..went on to discuss how higher investment would lead to higher incomes,and higher incomes would lead to higher consumption,and higher and perhaps diverse outputs can result in more exports,all the 4 factors which determine the aggregate expenditure would increase,hence the AE would increase itself and according to the multiplier,when the AE increases,the money GDP increases by a much larger number..also went on to explain the benefits of utilising those idle resources and how unemployment of resources would go down which is always a good thing,and how with rising incomes,the marginal propensity to save increases and with increase the amount of saving,the banks would be able to create more credit and hence would lead to more investment and hence more growth..i could ve discussed the disadvantages and problems too,but the question explicitly asked only for the benefits,nothing else..
the second part of it wasss,umm,yeah,it was that whether its useful to conserve resources rather than exploiting them...here i explained how theres a fine line between exploiting the resources and overexploiting them and how if a country really is down in the doldrums,it would need to exploit resources,but NOT overexploit them..gave quite a few examples of how overexploitation and how that would lead to long term problems for future generations,and in the case of important fuels,it would affect the whole world too...then moved on to the solutions that the governments need to be aware of this problem beforehand and should spend more on research and technology if there is a chance of the resources running out in the future because a) that could result in exploration of alternate sources of say energy,or exports if a country is hugely depended upon that one resource which it cannot export after it runs out and b) increased efficiency would mean that the limited resources be utilised efficiently so the greatest possible benefit be derived from them for the longest possible time..
basically if the governments dont do that and simply try and conserve the resources,that would only slow their own growth and they d just be delaying the inevitable.someday the resource WILL run out..what then??hence the country also has to invest in capital goods upto a certain level for all this,ofcourse keeping the consumer goods production to a level above the subsistence level..and hence this way i concluded the question..phew
i cant believe i wrote that much in the paper..perhaps it was the redbull,because my hands didnt stop for a second :S...mouse was on my right and he had his hands on his face,was putting his head down on the desk to think and left 15 minute before the end time..yet,he insists bohat fit hua hai...perhaps he doesnt have an eye for detail..anyways..economics p1 and p2 tomorrow and i ve been out of touch with it for quite a long period of time..read up all the topics from the cambridge book last night..didnt learn anything scaringly new..now when i ll publish this blog entry,off i will be to do around 4-5 mcq papers,4-5 data responses before the evening and then do the essay length questions in the evening...the papers in the morning so i ll wake up at 6 and just revise some stuff before leaving at 8..
the topics generally in p2 are easy and quite general..inflation and functions of money,PPC and opportunity cost,international trade benefits,ways and justification of protectionism,balance of payments format,exchange rate systems...public goods,merit goods,social cost,private cost...you know,all of the little stuff..
after tomorrow,a huge burden would be off my shoulders with 85% of the economics grade decided,and i ll have ample time to prepare for accounting p4 in isolation and once thats done,only the p3s of accounting and economics,and i ll do so many of them so many times,that by the end of it,i ll have sort of scrammed the answers in my head too...ooh,scaary!

anyways,i m off..

2006-05-30T02:01:00.000+05:00

so this day is finally here..
economics p4 ladies and gentlemen..
from the time when i first heard from someone that the date sheet was up on the notice board,to the actual day (which came much much later) when i first actually saw the date sheet and contemplated on how the tougher exams are right at the end with little gaps between them,to the delaying of starting the preparation and the almost criminal procrastination and indulgence in other agendas,to trying to cover the whole of a levels economics in 5 hours before the economics mock exam to messing up quite badly and realising that some work was needed,to the start of the preparation,the a for afternoons for accounting and e for economics for evenings,to the start of the exams,the long periods when i didnt study economics at all,to finding it extremely hard to switch back to economics after 3 weeks of urdu and gp,to the past papers and data responses,i finally AM here,some 12 hours to go before the actual event...
this run up might not be any less grandeur if you compare it to the olympics (or some other fag-ass athletics tournament) if you look at it from my eyes,and every day of this turbulent time has taught me an important lesson..lessons that are hard to convey and are better kept to my self..lessons that have made me a better man..
the day of reckoning is finally here,and if i falter here,it would be no less tragic than the death of achilles,no less sorrowful than the overwhelming decision of the jury to punish socrates,no less ironic than marc vivien-foe swallowing his tongue on the football field and being dead there and then playing the sport he loved most,since i love economics and i want this grade badly!
tomorrow i ll wake up at 11,waste some time and try to convince myself i can do a good job at the examination hall while looking at a few data responses and a few last gasp attempts to solve the essay questions (in my head) where other friends of mine (who btw expect A's too :\ esp. mouse) would be up way before me trying to scramble some adam smith or henry ford example that they would intend to forcefully incorporate in their essays just because imran latif said so,looking at past papers which although would include the latest papers but would also contain a plethora of useless ancient past papers and although those people would know that those ancient past papers from the 80s and the 90s would never come in the exam,they d still try and look at them just because imran latif said so,thinking they can get an A and that students who think they are too smart like shahzad nousherwani,who think they re too good to do economics on their own and not take any tuitions and hence wouldnt have any clue about the oh so useful terms like the MRT (marginal rate of transformation - also known in simpler words as the opportunity cost..and the cambridge recommended black book hasnt used MRT,nope,not even once) would get pipped at the last hurdle,and by god,here i will be infront of this computer screen watching the albums download urging myself to make them eat their words as well as their hearts out..whatever they can do,i can do (much) better and if this pompousness isnt justified,then i may very well deem these 18 years of life completely and utterly useless,but there in the bottom corner of my heart,there still will be the fear of the human element
"only human",says the agent when neo is hit by the bullet inspite of him trying to dodge just like the agent did..
yes,we are but humans and nothing more,so there is the element of human errors and i greatly fear that,but i ll not let the anxiety and the distress these exams have bought me show on my face.no sir,not one bit...i ll be there,casually strutting about..not letting alot out,but letting 'enough' out to tell them what i ve got..i ll be with them,and i ll make sure i look like them,among one of 'them'..
the anxiety,excitement,fear,tension and a whole multitude of other different emotions going at 280 km/hr in the wrong lanes on the highways of my medulla oblongata (the WHAT???),but i wont let them show on the surface..if i had to,then i wouldnt have kept this blog! but i ll make sure i track down and chop down the very trees 'they' live on!

bring it on,i say! :@

2006-05-29T02:18:00.000+05:00

hmm
did the 3 data responses and the 4 questions off p4
hmm...now,theres kinda a problem..i mean i m kinda satisfied with the answers and they may be enough to get an A,but man,somehow,i just cannot get the ends to meet..
some of the questions i know really well,like market efficiency and developing developed economies and national income statistics,as well as a direct question on wage rate determination...other than that,the fiscal monetary policy and the multiplier accelerater analysis isnt bad at all either..the demand utility theory,bleah,yeah...even then i can somehow scrape through to an A and attempting that would be like a worst possible scenario...the thing thats making me uneasy is the fact that i have gone through the examiner reports of all the past papers and i already know the requirement of these questions...now if the examiner twists the question (like he has been doing recently) and give it a new twist,and i m not able to properly understand it,then it might spell disaster...i mean i do know wage rate determination and economic efficiency well enough to digest any given circumstances but sometimes those circumstances get really weird and even the examiner expects something literally weird even when the questions' wordings never ask for that..if this is gonna be one of THOSE years,then i can wave my grade a big bye bye..
the data response too,i m comfortable with most of it,but sometimes the market structure bits might confuse me and the weird requirements of the examiner may make me lose marks..but chelo,i ll try to work on that aspect tomorrow..
blah...i hope the examiner is kind this term..
please give a national income statistics question,or a developing developed economy question (or even one related to unemployment)
second on the list are the economic efficiency and wage rate determination questions
third could be the multiplier question and the demand utility theory
and an easy data response.please!

2006-05-28T18:24:00.000+05:00

hmm...uptil now,i m only done with 2 p2s of accounting and 2 p1s
i think i ll leave the theory bits for the day before the paper...will remain fresh in my mind..
i also finished the one remaining chapter from the extension course
now for today,i need to do around 3 data response questions and 4 full length essay questions on umm,economic efficiency,fiscal/monetary policy,multiplier/accelerator with changes in investment etc and the demand utility theory
i think what i d do tomorrow is look at some awkward stuff (if any) and just revise a few notes and shit..
its gonna be a tough week ahead,but in around 7-8 days time,most of my worries would be over..
i wont really have much time to prepare for accounts p2 but then again,this year,the questions expected are incomplete records,errors,control accounts wali thingy..i swear,if THAT comes,i aint losing a single mark in that question..i ve been doing it since grade 9...apart from that,overhead costing is expected,where you apportion the overheads according to different bases in different departments...the remaining question,well,your guess is as good as mine..but then again,there isnt much to choose from...it could be partnership or ratios with some small company accounts thingy perhaps...the greatest anomaly could be stock valuation,and i ll make sure i do atleast one of the stock valuations question in the one day that i ll have..manufacturing accounts may also be there to surprise the students but thankfully enough i m okay with that too...doesnt leave much else then..apart from the theory
on the 30th,since i ll be free at around 5.30,i wont have any time to go to the academy so i ll just go home,do the theory bits,do overhead costing and stock valuation,and just simply review all the 6-7 topics there are in p2,hopefully,wouldnt be too bad..

i feel a sense of satisfaction when i m doing economics or accounting questions...it reasserts the notion that i know what i m doing right now..lets hope the lucidity remains till the 9th..
half hour break and then data response ahoy!

2006-05-27T20:23:00.000+05:00

hmm...uptil now,i m done with 2 accounting p1s and 2 accounting p2s...i ll pass on the theory bit for tomorrow
now a 40 minutes break till the clock strikes 9 and it would be economics ahoy..

the accounting papers didnt go too bad...the two p2s i did (60 mcqs :\) i got around 59 of them correctly..around 29.5/30 for p1 whereas the grade threshold normally for p1s is around 20-22...the grade threshold in p2s is around 60-66/90 and i get around about the 80 mark..depends on the type of questions,and with overhead absorption costing expected in the p2 on the 31st,there are higher chances of success because thats usually very easy and looks very fucking scary meaning less people would do well while it wont affect me too much...blah,even if marginal costing is repeated,i dont really have a problem with that...most of that is on my fingertips..occasionally,there is a confusing 7-8 mark part but assuming that i get completely bummed then and dont attempt it,the first two questions (60 marks) would take me to the 55 mark level with the whole of the 3rd question in hand..
that isnt too bad...

as far as economics is concerned,woah,dunno...i need to get atleast 2-3 data responses done tonight as well as the reading of the 2 remaining chapters and 2-3 full length essay questions or 3-4 papers jotting the points down..lets see..

i ve wasted quite alot of the time today...but chelo..

2006-05-27T03:10:00.000+05:00

see the post made below 3 hours ago??
yes..thats when i decided that i ve had enough and i ll study economics
but i just cannot study man..
i mean all i managed to do in these 3 hours was to read up on 4 out of the 6 total topics for the paper 4
well,thats not bad,but i couldve done more...besides,i didnt really learn anything drastically new,which can be both good and bad
good because i know all of it beforehand and bad that i think i m taking it a bit too casually
i just need to put my foot down tomorrow and just work according to plan...accounting in the afternoon and economics in the evening till late in the night
will read up on all of the theory portion of accounting from h.randalls book which isnt much and most of it i already know..will also attempt 2-3 p2s as well as 1-2 p1s
as far as economics goes,i ll read up on the remaining 2 chapters to conclude formally the theory section...for the application,i ll just write 2-3 full length essays on topics that are repeating and time myself and attempt some 2-3 p4s in points like i used to do..and most importantly,do atleast 2-3 data response questions for p4..

so its done then...all this would be done tomorrow,and by god,it wont be a problem! :| grrrrr..!

2006-05-26T23:14:00.000+05:00

aaargghh
man,this exam business is sickening seriously
i mean its been over 46 days since the anxiety started and uptil now,i m only done with 4 of the papers out of the 12..and the whole of economics and accounting is still to go
i m just losing it now..i just somehow dont want to study any more..
blah,must..force..myself..to..sit..down...and...study..economics
come on man!just 14 more days..2 weeks..thats it! :|
come fucking on!!

2006-05-25T02:19:00.000+05:00

after 6 long pages of compressing 16 character sketches and 10 critical notes,i think my urdu preparation is like a near perfect upside-down pineapple cake...i hope to add a red cherry on top by reading the actual notes tomorrow morning before going for the paper (which is btw in the afternoon)
this post reminds me that i m hungry too..:may the forces be with me =|

oh oh oh,and i have a reyes home shirt now too.. :D kickass!
now i m waiting for arsenal to revert back to the old red and white
that makes the red and white strip of pires,the blue away kit of ljungberg,the maroon home kit of reyes and the away yellow kit of henry..
plus ronaldinho,but bleh,for me,hes on the fringes :D heh
the guy who orders the shirts was like dude in a few days,ALL the world cup teams shirts would be here and my eyes lit up,i was like ALL THE WORLD CUP TEAMS??he was like yeah,ALL THE WORLD CUP TEAMS..i was like even japan?he was like umm dude,japan ko kon poochta hai...and i snapped at him saying MEIN ISS WORLD CUP MEIN JAPAN KO SUPPORT KER RAHA HOON and he was all oops :
go england and japan..!!

2006-05-24T02:13:00.000+05:00

okay,so now i m done with the urdu prep.
now i just have to make sure that i dont lose focus and retain the amount of information i have right now
just gotta revise well tomorrow and day after before the paper

and hahahahha,i still cant believe rosicky at arsenal
i mean me and haider used to dream about this move...never did i really for a moment believe thought that arsenal would ever sign him..good on you arsene! :D you made my day!

2006-05-23T20:09:00.000+05:00

maira got me henry and bergkamp away shirts as well as a ronaldinho home shirt :D
and arsenal shorts,some german club and the spanish ones too
gosh,that is one great kid
now i m just thinking which shirt,henry or bergkamp will i exchange and get a home strip...hmm...
lets see,tough choice

anyways,i ve been listening to donnie darkos soundtrack..its beautiful...must watch that movie in the summers

anyways,urdu is going fine..

lately,i ve realised i find it really hard to let go...be it anything,from a book,to a magazine,a good movie,a good song,my favourite shirt,a cup of tea...
i was watching this gay program the other day where they were showing how buddhist monks make beautiful designs with colored sand and then destroy them to perfect the art of letting go...everything in this world is temporal,but not useless..enjoy it till it lasts and then move on..and here,i just cant let go of a magazine because i just think that perhaps there might be more i can gain from it,reading the statistics a few more times,trying to remember a few names...blah..:\

2006-05-23T15:50:00.000+05:00

arsenal signing rosicky
whats the word for that??swweeeettt??hmm?? \m/

2006-05-23T04:37:00.000+05:00

hmm...preparing urdu these days
its the p4
i m done with the afsanay as well as anarkali..as well as half of umrao jan ada
must say,all of them really make up for interesting literature for sure..makes the job at hand much easier...just need a bit of focus and hard work to weave some magic..

but these exams are teaching me a hard lesson...life will never be the same again..i ll value time much more than i ever did,and its not something 'fo sho',its something for sure! (pun intended) :
the tough time starts though once i m done with urdu,and that is both a good thing and a bad thing in itself..

2006-05-22T00:02:00.000+05:00

time just refuses to pass today
not that its a bad thing...i always love it when something like this happens
anyways

i m a bit concerned about my preparation...the plan that i have devised with regards to studying for the exams is sort of making me uneasy..mind you,if i just follow that plan,i d be done with my preparation well in time,but the fact that that just looks so little to me concerns me...what if i dont get the grades??there ll be no one to blame but me myself...but i dont know man...perhaps its because i ve worked a bit too hard in the past one month that now it seems like i dont have to study at all to be fully prepared now...but the only question is what if this plan backfires??well,that is something that only time can tell..perhaps i m comparing myself a bit too much with the o levels time..but blah,i dunno...all i know is on the surface,it looks like i m studying nothing...lets see what happens though..

2006-05-21T01:27:00.000+05:00

okay,so i need the first season of 'serial experiments lain'..
and all the hubs on dc++ just refuse to provide me with any free slots :\

2006-05-20T23:54:00.000+05:00

okay
the world cup is getting closer now
let me make my affinities clear
i m with england and japan

!! grrr

2006-05-20T04:37:00.000+05:00

i fear that someday i ll run out of things to talk about,to myself..

2006-05-19T13:28:00.000+05:00

Henry: 'I've Decided To Stay'
Thierry Henry has announced he has decided to stay at Arsenal and will today thrash out details on a new four-year contract with the club. "I hope to stay for as long as I can keep running," he says. Oh, and Bobby Pires might stay too. Not a bad day's work, Gunners...

http://football365.com

\m/ \m/ \m/
up yours!
"memeemhfsjh henry will go to barcelona for sure meemememehjksfkjs because arsenal just cant..." hey look,shut up,okay??and go fuck yourself now! :D